If I Were Running for President

I grew up in a very nonpolitical family. Politics were never discussed around the dinner table. I can't actually recall what was discussed, but apparently, nothing earth shattering. This all changed when I got married. I married into a very political family--well, more so I married a very political man. I was unaware of this--like BYU football--until after the vows were swapped. We dated through the 2000 election debacle (just like we dated through the 2000 football season), but I don't actually recall discussing anything about it (or BYU football) at length. In fact, I didn't even vote in 2000. Our dorm television was tuned to music videos most of the time and I paid very little attention to the political scene.

And then, seemingly overnight, it changed. All of a sudden, I care. And I'm debating my mom (my mom!) over lunch about who should and shouldn't be a leader. And I'm mad. Disappointed. Disgusted. If this is what politics is about, then I'm glad I didn't grow up in a political family. I'm glad I didn't have to listen to this for months on end every election season.

Here's how I see it: We have two men, neither one of them 100% capable of holding such a prestigious job as President of the US of A. The question at hand is to determine who would be the most capable of holding this esteemed position. So they talk. And talk. And talk some more. And some people really buy into the bs they're throwing out and others of us just shake our head. The reality is that neither man is going to be able to wave a magic stick and erase all the bad. On January 21, 2009, scores of military men and women will not be arriving back in the states, the War on Terror over. On January 21, 2009, Wall Street will not arise from the depths of despair and resume it's once all-powerful hold on the economy. Houses will not begin to sell. Unemployment will not be nullified. Health care will not be available to every man, woman and child.

So, as long as Obama and McCain are talking, I'm going to talk too. Here's a list of things I'd do if I were running for President:

• Propose a flat tax system. Every working person--whether they are documented or undocumented workers--should have a percentage of their pay deducted for federal income tax. As long as you are living here, using our resources, you should have to pay something into the system. I'm all for programs that help out the disadvantaged and poor--welfare, housing authority, etc. But not as a long-term solution that I'm paying for out of my pocket while someone else is reaping the benefits. Nearly 40% of the nation pays zero federal income tax. How do we ever expect to get ahead, fiscally, if only 60% of the country is feeding into the tax pool. Refunds are great, but I'd rather have the money now. So a flat tax across the board. The number one rule for saving is to pay yourself first.
• No negative campaigning. If I were running for president I would address NO rumors, allegations, allegiances, etc. Nor would I drag that in on my opponent. The race should be fought on issues and issues alone. I don't have anything to hide, and if I did, I would put it out there before the start of campaigning season so it was no surprise. I'm not going to spend my campaign dollars on wasted breath in defending my family, friendships, religion, yada, yada, yada. I'm tired of the mud-slinging, backlashing, petty campaign manuevers that have been implemented--on both sides--the last few elections.
• I'd wear jeans. And a nice shirt--on occasion. Maybe dress up for the big events. But, if I'm of the people, I should probably dress like the people. And maybe I'll be a big star on SNL where they'll poke fun of my clothing. But most likely, people will feel that they can actually relate to this person.
• I'd translate all that jargon into something that the normal person could understand. Here are my views on all the issues, in easy to understand language. Take them or leave them. I won't skew my words to attract the most voters. I won't flipflop without a good reason. But I won't promise I won't flipflop. Views can be changed. I respect that. As long as you have a good reason.
• I'm not going to stand up there and tell you the things you want to hear in hopes that it would get me elected and then shrug my shoulders when asked--3 years later--what promises I've kept. We've all been around long enough to know that nothing is really going to change, despite who gets elected.

Clearly, there's a reason I'm not in the running for President of the United States, but I sure wish someone with a backbone was.

Book Review Friday 10/24/08

Book: Three Cups of Tea: One Man's Mission to Promote Peace One School at a Time
Author: Greg Mortenson
Pages: 313

I'm not well versed in Middle Eastern Studies. All those -stan countries get mixed up in my brain. And admittedly, I'm not as passionate about the war as maybe I should be. The reasons are varied and too much to go into here. In any case, I do sorta cringe when I read the synopsis of a book that centers around the Middle East. I guess it's just not my thing.

But, in an attempt to broaden my horizons, I gave this book a chance. I didn't seem to be full of the politics that swamp other books about the Middle East and I had heard good things about it so I gave it a whirl.

It turned out to be a really educating, amazing story of one ordinary guy who is trying to help the world.

Greg Mortenson, a mountaineer and nurse from California, was attempting to scale K2 in Pakistan in the summer of 1996. Unable to summit, he turned around and began the long descent back down. He lost sight of his hiking buddy and his porter (the local guy he had hired at the base camp to ferry his bag for him). Eventually, he was forced to spend a night on the mountain, out in the elements. When he came to in the morning, he started walking again and found his porter, safe and sound. Following his porter down the mountainside, he missed a yak-hair bridge, instead turning to the left and ended up in a little remote village of Pakistan that had never seen a foreigner pass it's gates.

Nursed back to health by the local leader and his family--and reunited with his bags, Mortenson soon became one of the tribe. Upon seeing the condition of the local village school, Mortenson vowed to return to the states and raise money for a school.

Mortenson scrimped, saved and tried to raise funds to help build a school in this remote Pakistani village. Finally securing some funds, he traveled back and entered into a culture that--though painted after 9/11 as an American-hating, religious fanatical sect of humanity--welcomed Mortenson, more or less, as one of their own.

Crippled by cultural differences and altering ways-of-life, Mortenson is nonetheless able to bring to this tiny village the very necessities it needs to sustain life in this oft-forgotten place. He gained a reputation that went a long way after 9/11 to help foster peace among the people of the Middle East and Americans. Mortenson has gone on to help build more than 50 schools in neighboring villages in Pakistan as well as water facilities and has even branched into Afghanistan.

What I liked about the book was that it painted a completely different picture of the region then what the media does. There's no extreme--Not everyone hates Americans and not everyone is happy we're there. There are plenty of people who just want to be able to feed their families and keep them safe. And while every religion has their zealots, the majority of the Muslim people reach out to those that need them, sometimes using their last morsel of food or drink to sate those that need it more. In short, they aren't all that different then us. Just a slower, different way of life. But, that, of course would make for a boring newscast and so this book is a reminder that we need to delve deeper into this area to really understand what's going on and not to rely on just media coverage.

Though, reading between the lines, you can picture Mortenson being beyond obsessed with this passion and driving his family insane, you can also sense that this is where he's suppose to be. This is his mission on the planet. And unlike many, he's making the most of the time he has here to make the world just a bit better. Not by imposing his viewpoints or his ways on others, but by giving them the resources to expand their lives themselves.

Indeed, one person truly can change the world.

The Halloween Miracle

Last year, we got Josh a cute dinosaur costume for Halloween. He loved it. He wore it out the store (the cashier just ran him over the scanner) and then for weeks afterwards, would put it on-extending Halloween well into December. The year before last, we had gotten an Incredibles outfit that he outgrew in the month between the purchase and Halloween and we didn't want to fall victim to that again (though the pictures are adorable of him with his too snug of an outfit and highwater pants. True superhero style), so we bought the costume a bit large so he could wear again this year.

A few weeks ago, we asked him what he wanted to be for Halloween. He happily replied dinosaur and both Wade and I silently high-fived each other. It was another case of "this parenting thing is a lot easier than we thought".

However...

This week, I asked Josh to tell Grandma what he was going to be for Halloween. A quiet little voice in the back of the car piped up: "elephant". What??? An Elephant? I racked my brain, trying to remember the last time I'd seen an elephant on Halloween. I think the correct answer is never. But what would I be if I didn't at least try...

Try to convince Josh that he wanted to be a dinosaur instead.

Try to convince Josh that his dinosaur costume was merely a prehistoric elephant.

Try to find an elephant nose to supplement the (now) subpar "prehistoric elephant" costume.

Try to ignore the voice in the backseat of the car.

Sigh.

Try to find an elephant costume at the store. Or at least a gray sweatsuit that could be altered--with much time and talent--into an elephant. So basically, try to find an elephant costume at the store.

So today, I set out on the important task of finding an elephant costume. I was only going to go to four stores. My big-box rating system goes something like this: From least liked to most liked based on quality and availability of clothing and how clean the store is.

(I'm not that hard to impress--as will become evident in a moment.)

K-Mart
Shopko
Walmart
Target

My plan was to hit these four big-box stores in a futile attempt at locating an elephant. Then gently letting my 3 year old experience the bitter feeling of disappointment when he had to dress up like a dinosaur--excuse me, prehistoric elephant. Maybe by October 31st everything would be okay.

First up, K-mart. Not my favorite place to shop. I was already tired and was not looking forward to marching through the stores in search of an elusive elephant costume. But here I was.

The costume aisle was jammed with every possible costume you could think of (and some you couldn't think of) and as I half-heartedly thumbed through them, my hopes dashing with each costume I flipped through, I came across a sickly gray medium-sized child's costume of...

AN ELEPHANT!

Though not the most attractive elephant costume I have ever seen. For $15 it was mine. And I wasn't going to complain. There were only two elephants to be seen. And the size was perfect. Desperate to share my good fortune with anybody, I called Wade on the phone.

<>You'll never guess what I found.
<>What?
<>An elephant costume.
<>But he already has a costume
<>He is flat out refusing to be a dinosaur
<>But it fits. Tell him to be a dinosaur
Yeah, like after stuffing Josh into the elephant costume I was ever going to be able to get him back out.
<>It's $15. And I'm too tired to fight the fight. You should see how excited he is.
Not to mention how excited I am.
<>Okay.

Clearly, Wade missed the grandeur of the moment. The moment when my prayers were heard by a higher power and an elephant costume was located at the first store I stopped at. In the right size. For a decent price. I couldn't have made an elephant costume for $15. We promptly paid (now, too large to be scanned, we ripped the barcode off of Josh) and walked out the store. Grandma, mom and one happy elephant.

I would rank this moment up with the moment I crossed the marathon finish line. But that would be silly--it's only a costume after all. But, it's a close second. My only hope is that as life goes on, I will find other exciting moments in my life to knock this one down a few notches so I don't appear as pathetic.

But, in any case, it's a moment I'm sure I'll look back on as the years go by, when I'm out trying to locate that ever elusive halloween costume. One cannot expect a Halloween miracle every year. This year, my stars were aligned and I benefited greatly from the Halloween miracle.

Day 12 and Counting

12 days ago, a cold and blistery Saturday, I awoke, happy and carefree. About 3 pm, I felt a sudden pain in my ear and begun a very costly, and discouraging, battle with an ear infection. For the record, I have had one (1) ear infection in the last 15 or so years. Last December. Other than that, my ears have been healthy and clean.

Sunday morning, 6 am, after having tossed and turned most of the night, I got up, got dressed and made my way to Walmart for some hydrogen peroxide. Having heard of it's usefulness in the ear department, I was going to bet all my eggs that this simple at-home remedy would make me feel better.

Sunday night, I felt no better. But I did manage to go to sleep. Come Monday, my ear was feeling quite a bit better and in good time. I had a doctor's appointment scheduled for baby on Tuesday. I would just ask her, right?

Tuesday, the OB knew even less than I did, but gave me a prescription for ear drops that the computer said might work. My ear was a lot less painful, so I didn't fill it right away.

I awoke Wednesday with a plugged ear. You know the feeling? Where you've just stepped out of the swimming pool and all the water is still stuck in your ear. Annoying as all get out. Wednesday night might've been the worst night I've spent in a long time. I couldn't get comfortable (thanks to the watermelon strapped to my stomach and the aching ear) and I was going crazy. First thing Thursday morning, I told Wade I'm going into whatever doctor agrees to see me the soonest. I called around, and ended up at InstaCare.

The doctor who saw me sounded sicker than me. He kept sniffling and coughing and I couldn't help but think "um...maybe you should up here getting checked out instead of me." But he prescribed me different ear drops that would supposedly be better than the prescription the OB gave me two days earlier. Better and more expensive. Bonus.

So, I adhered to the rules of the prescription, dropping them into my affected ear twice a day for 5 days. Nada. In fact, the clogging only got worse. I was now $55 poorer for having visited InstaCare because I was going to have to get antibiotics. I called InstaCare to see if I would have to pay the $30 co-pay again if I came in and got antibiotics for the same thing they were suppose to have cleared up the first time I came in. A stunned "yes" was my answer. Of course I'd have to pay another $30 for them to give me what they should've given me in the first place...it was their God-given right to charge me again to see the same problem. They were InstaCare afterall.

So Monday, I called my doctor's office and got the earliest appointment, Tuesday. The good news is that the pain has gone away, but I can hardly hear anything out of my left ear. It's a little problematic, not to mention irritating.

Tuesday morning I go in and get my antibiotic (thank you!) and then I'm told that I'm also suffering from asthma. (I was diagnosed with exercise-induced asthma years ago, but seeing as I'm not currently exercising--because of the ear infection--I haven't been taking my inhaler. Apparently, when you're sick and an asthmatic, you tend to lose 20% of your air intake. I mentioned that maybe the watermelon strapped to my belly was the culprit, but the doctor dismissed my theory. What do I know? I'm still working on my math degree and it's been 10 years since I graduated from high school.)

The silver lining in the cloud is that since my hearing is considerably diminished, Barney isn't as annoying when played at the highest volume. Nor is Josh, who insists on talking nonstop all day long--whether it's to me or the cats or himself. Sometimes, it's quiet, but most of the time, he's making up songs or whining. But when you can't hear out of one ear, it's all a little muffled.

So, today, I woke up and took my cocktail of pills and antidotes to the pills (2 cups of yogurt a day to ward off the pending yeast infection caused by the antibiotics). Oh, and the other ear...it's starting to hurt now.

Great.

Book Review Friday 10/17/08

Book: The Host
Author: Stephenie Meyer
Pages: 623

Possible Spoiler Alert. If you haven't read the book, and think you will, stop now.




So, I thought I gave the book a fair chance. I rested between Breaking Dawn and The Host so I wouldn't fall into the same trap that many other people did...comparing the two. It sat on my bedside table for a week before I picked it up, so I wasn't overly anxious to read it the minute my number came up at the library. However...

Overall, I didn't find it to be that different from the Twilight Series, though it's billed as Meyer's first adult novel. The emotions were all the same...adolescent whining about how something/someone was going to kill the main character. Predictable love. Happy endings. Blah, blah, blah.

Aliens, called souls, have taken over the galaxy, including earth, infusing themselves within each planet's main lifeform to create a happier, healthier, more peaceful life. It's at the end of the Earth's takeover when Wanderer is paired with Melanie, a rebel human brought back from an unsuccessful suicide attempt. Wanderer is met with a force within Melanie that won't allow complete takeover and the two "beings" compromise by trying to live with each other. Melanie is essentially a prisoner within her mind, while Wanderer controls all outward appearances.

Constant thoughts of the life Melanie left behind eventually drags Wanderer to a secret place where 30ish other humans are hiding out, including her love interest, Jared, and her brother, Jamie.

Bucking the clan-happy tradition of the usual souls, Wanderer leaves her world behind and becomes part of the human existence, amidst hostile feelings and actions by other humans who see her as a spy for the souls.

The premise of the book was great. A fresh outlook on an old idea--aliens overtaking humans. However, Meyer's falls short in a few key areas. Notably, she reduces the multitude of human emotions to three: love, hate, and jealousy. Humans were painted as being incredible violent, even in a setting where presumably, only 30 of them are left on the planet.

Also, I had some reservations about the book after finishing. For example, many of the people in the cave had paired off. However, death still overcame the clan. No one was exempt from the normal process of aging. So, why were there no initiatives to procreate. I would imagine that if only 30 people were left on the planet, many would find the need to add more offspring to the population. Eventually, without the births of other humans, this clan will eventually die off and there would be no human left.

Secondly, their diet. The book touched on what the humans ate most of the time, once the food from their raids was out. However, much time was spent cultivating a garden in the cave where corn, wheat (presumably for their neverending supply of bread), fruits and vegetables grew. But every day they ate the same thing...bread and onion soup.

Lastly, the ending. I hated it. It was too sugar-coated. Much like the ending in Breaking Dawn. I knew it was going to happen about half way through the book, but there was nothing I could do about it.

My opinon is that if Meyer wants to be taken as a serious author down the line, she's going to have to incorporate some real tragedy in her books. Otherwise, she will fall by the wayside when each book ends the same.

So my overall impression: Eh. It was an okay read. Intriguing in some parts, but certainly not anywhere close to the best book I've read this year. Or this month even.

Things that Make You Go Hmmmm

• I've been battling a raging ear infection since Saturday. It came on very quickly with none of the preceding factors usually associated with ear infections: runny noses, sore throats, achy joints. One minute I was fine. The next, my ear was throbbing. Sunday morning, I awoke after a very fitful night of rest and made my way to Wal-mart (note to self: need to do shopping at 6 am. Store is empty of idiots and cashiers seem smarter) to buy some hydrogen peroxide to ease the pain. The pain was lifted for a while, but of course I was too sick to go to church, so I had to stay home, in bed, while Wade and Josh went. Luckily, I wasn't too sick to enjoy dinner at the in-laws. The best of both worlds. In any case, I was holding out going to the doctor's until today, because I already had a regularly scheduled appointment with the OB and I figured if I needed antibiotics, she'd be able to write me a prescription and I'd save my $40 InstaCare co-pay. I researched some more on the internet and found vinegar to also be a viable remedy. The pain has subsided quite a bit and the ear is only a little tender. However, while at the doctor's office today, I did ask her about it. Her response--and in her defense, she is a OB/GYN and not a family practitioner--was to get on the internet and look up ear infections...like I did on Saturday. We came to the same conclusion that vinegar would be the best solution to my ailment. And that, my friends, is why I have resorted to using the internet as my primary care physician unless (a) I need help extracting something out of my body (b) I'm bleeding (c) the internet tells me to go straight to the emergency room. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200 (one has to be careful when abiding by this rule because if you search hard enough every symptom will have at least one posting urging you to call 911).

(as a sidenote, I would like the record to show that I would never resort to using the internet as my child's preferred physician. If it were Josh in agony with an earache on Saturday night, I would've gladly given my left leg (I need the right one to drive) to have his pain eased by caring and loving doctors at the InstaCare 40 minutes from home and I even would've waited in line at the Walgreen's pharamacy to have his prescription filled before heading back home.)

• When researching viable remedies to common ailments, there are a lot of forums to wade through. Clearly it would be optimal if there was a website that was backed by the AMA listing at-home remedies that actually worked, but I see the illogicities in this. Who would fill the emergency rooms and doctor offices? However, when a question is posted such as "Does anyone know if __________ will help my _________?" It doesn't help anyone--poster, researcher, medical student--if you respond by saying: "I don't know. I've never tried it." Do we care that 1.5 billion people have never heard of this particular remedy before? Do we care that YOU haven't tried it? No! We don't. We only care about those people who have tried it and whether it failed for them or not. Who are these people that have the time to troll sites and insert that they haven't tried a particular solution?
• There needs to be a revamp in how elections are run here in the United States. There should be some other requirements besides being a U.S. citizen and over the age of 18. Maybe that you can match the name of the candidate with their picture. Or that you know the capital of your home state. Something to weed out the truly moronic people from upsetting the balance.
• Speaking of election time--and I could wax on and on about this, so I'll try to keep it short--just because you get paid an obscene amount of money to act like someone/something else doesn't give you the credentials to be stumping for either side of the fence. I know no more about you then my neighbor, but at least he has something intelligent to say. I'm not paying $8 for a movie ticket because I care about your political views. You aren't paying me because you like mine. So let's keep it that way. You do your job and I'll do mine and we'll both do our research and vote for the candidate that we feel represents us the best. Go Mickey Mouse!
• Next football season, we are so getting cable!

Book Review Friday 10/10/08

Book: The Zookeeper's Wife: A War Story
Author: Diane Ackerman
Pages: 323

This book took me a long time to get into. I briefly flirted with the ideas of giving up on it, but deep inside I felt guilty. Someone was trying to tell the story of this incredible couple, who risked so much to save over 300 people in World War II Poland, and the least I could do was finish their tale.

In that respect, I greatly admire the Zabrinki's, who opened their defunct zoo to the Underground revolution to house Polish Jews on the run. Their courage and bravery is a testament to us all that there is indeed something that we can do to make the world a better place.

I found it fascinating to read about the daily workings of the Warsaw Zoo pre-war and how it changed so drastically during the early years of the German Occupation. They opened their home to injured animals, often intermingling species in their manor to nurse them back to health. During the early part of the war, many of their beloved animals were taken, killed, or escaped.

While the Zabrinki's were not Jewish, they were Polish--another entry on Hitler's inferiority list. And so it was imperative that they keep a low profile as well, not drawing attention to their involvement in the dangerous Underground that tried to free as many Jews as possible using a variety of means, including forging papers, documents, passes and teaching Jewish people how to "act" Aryan if they had the Aryan look about them.

They estimated that nearly 300 people made their way to the zoo over the course of the war where they found shelter, food, and a semblance of normal life underway. While it was dangerous to stay too long and so many would only stay a night or so while other provisions were secured, some came to stay for extended times.

Overall, the book would've been an incredible read if it wasn't so wordy. It was hard to wade through all the words to get to the gist of the story. Taking most of the tale from writings of Antonina, the zookeeper's wife, as well as a few personal interviews, Ackerman reminds the reader constantly that maybe this happened, or maybe that happened, but that there's no concrete proof that it happened that way. It was a little annoying at times. However, once I could immerse myself in the story, it was a good read.

Do As I'm Doing

As parents, you're constantly warned that your children will start copying you--in act and speech. You don't believe it until it actually happens, usually in the form of a bad word at church. But you beam at the times that your child actually mimics something that you've been doing, even if the thought process is a little off.

For example, Josh and his grandma made a batch of playdoh last week. There is a set schedule of activities that Josh must do--at his own admission--when he goes to grandma's house to be babysat while I endure a boring lecture on Friday mornings. One of these activities is to play with playdoh--but as I understand it, it's more Grandma makes birds out of playdoh and Josh then plays with the birds. In any case, the playdoh was gone last week when he went there, so they made a batch of it. Josh got to take home (grandma's) birds and nests and eggs with him. We got the playdoh out this afternoon so he could make a cake with it. (At our house, he makes cakes. At Grandma's, it's birds. Never birds at our house and cakes at her house. Go figure.) So, I left him to his own devices as I worked on the computer for a few hours (the boy has an incredible attention span).

A while later, I went in to check on him and he was "cleaning" up. However, the playdoh was not to be found. I casually asked him (while inside I was frantic--does playdoh flush down a toilet? Does it eventually dissolve if it's stuffed inside a sink?) where it went. He, just as casually replied "in the garbage. I was done playing."

A few weeks back, I had bought him some playdoh from the store. He kept getting it on the floor and on the bottom of his feet (don't ask) and then tromping it all over the carpet. So I threw it away. He was a little sad, but seemed to get over it fast enough. Apparently, he thinks that when you're done playing with playdoh it goes in the garbage. Fair enough. At 74 cents a jar, I can indulge in this little hobby every once in a while if it means not having to pick it out of the carpet.

The thought process might be a little off, but the kid has the right idea. Score one point for Josh.

Weird Craving #1 and Maybe #2

With this baby I haven't been prone to a lot of cravings. No midnight runs to the grocery store or sending Wade out in a rain storm to fetch me more chocolate. I have developed a taste for peaches. But, I usually do in the late summer when they're at their best. I ate a lot of salad early on, but I really like salad on any given day, so that's not really that different either.

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed something weird. I crave ice. And it's not the water per se. It's the crunching of the ice. We make all our own ice using those outdated ice cube trays that only my in-laws and us have anymore. I'm not even sure you can still buy them at the store should you ruin one. And until a few weeks ago, I could take the ice or leave it. I've been known to drink soda straight out of the can from the pantry. But, I can't seem to get enough ice. So much so, that I've been buying bags of ice at the grocery store. The ice pieces are smaller than our homemade ice cubes and there's a lot more of it. I'll go through a bag every couple of days. Then it's back to the ice trays until I make it to the store again. At dinner this evening, Wade opened the freezer to get some ice for his drink and said "where did all the ice go?" I casually responded "It's the weirdest craving." And left it at that. I realized it was becoming a problem when, after dinner, I sucked down my ice, his ice, and preceded to empty the ice bin of all remaining ice shards. The upside of this craving is that ice would be considered healthy. This should counterbalance craving #2.

Milky Way Bars. I could eat a king size Milky Way Bar every day. Only one, though. It's the perfect size. Any more than that one and it's too much. But, the 460 calories, 18 g of fat that these suckers punch is perfect for me and my growing belly. Why not just eat 30% of my daily fat in one sitting? Would save so much time, right? The kicker is that I wasn't partial to Milky Ways before. In fact, I wasn't a big candy bar person before. But, I have to physically restrain myself sometimes from indulging in a Milky Way. Not that I restrain myself all that much (Another Milky Way bar? Yeah, you have a problem with that?).

With Josh it was popcorn. I craved popcorn--ate a bowl of it nearly every night after work. Even now, I still really like it. After he was born, I ate a six pound bag of gummy bears a week for about 3 months. Though I still like gummy bears, I certainly don't eat them at that rate anymore.

I've read somewhere that cravings are your body's way of getting you to eat something that it's lacking for the developing fetus. Maybe salt in popcorn or calcium in ice cream. But, I'm having a hard time trying to see the logic behind the Milky Way bars.

Another Installment of Dialogues with a 3 Year Old

It's no secret that Josh is afraid of the dark. He sleeps with his overhead light on every night. He won't walk down the hall if it's dark. Aside from the inconvenience this provides for us parents, it's the dialogue that results from reasoning with him about the dark that makes it just funny.

Take for example the other day when he wanted to retrieve something from his room. He led me by the hand down the hall because his room was dark. I asked him what we could do to remedy the situation. He thought for just a second, reached up to the light switch and said:

"It'd help if I turned the light on."

Just like that. And in the same tone of voice that implies "dude, could you help me out here? This isn't rocket science."

Another example was this morning. The power went out about 6 am. This caused Josh to awaken because his overhead light went out. He ran over to the light switch and then the wailing began:

"It's broken. Mommy, daddy, the light's broken."

Wade ran in to see if everything was okay and Josh said "put batteries in. It's broken daddy."

He was brought back to our room and given a flashlight. That seemed to placate him for a bit until he wanted to watch Barney and we tried to explain that the power was out. "Put batteries in." Batteries, apparently, are like band-aids. They fix everything.

Book Review Friday 10/3/08

Book: Water for Elephants
Author: Sara Gruen
Pages: 368

This was a very intriguing book that I have to admit I wasn't looking forward to reading. However, I've heard so many people talk about it, I figured I should at least try it. I'm glad I did.

Jacob Jankowski's life is forever altered when, six days before graduating from Cornell with his veterinary degree, he is informed of the untimely death of his parents in an automobile accident. In a fit of grief and uncertainty, he hops a train in the middle of the night, only to find that he's on the Benzini Brothers Most Spectacular Show on Earth circus train as they travel through to the next show.

He stays on, working odd jobs until he lets it slip that he almost had his veterinary degree. Jacob is made into the circus vet and moves up in the social class of the circus world. He encounters a lot of strange people and made some lasting friendships that would be tried over the course of the circus season.

Set during the Depression and Prohibition Era, where much of the country was in a state of constant turmoil, it was interesting to read about the circus trains that I had only heard about. What made it more interesting was that we had just attended the circus last week. While many of the acts have changed dramatically, we couldn't help but wonder why you would ever join the circus in the first place. Many theories abounded, and most of them were proven true in this fictional account.

The story is told from the viewpoint of 93 year old Jacob, who is in a rest home. I couldn't help but love the "old" Jacob because he reminded me of my grandma in so many ways. I loved the ending and didn't really see it unfolding quite like the way it did. That probably added to the likeability factor.

While there were some questions that went unanswered--why can't Old Fart McGuinty possibly have carried water for elephants?--for the most part, this wrapped up quite nicely.

I'd certainly recommend this book to anyone, however a word of caution. There are some explicit scenes and descriptions that were kind of icky--and it takes a lot to ick me out. But overall, this was a very intriguing and delightful read.

My Sincerest Apologies

I have to make a blanket apology to all back pain sufferers. I had no idea. I can see why many of you complain about the pain and your activity level is next to nil because of your backs. Secretly, I would roll my eyes and figure that it was just one more excuse--and really, who can verify that you do or don't have back pain?--as to why you couldn't do something. I was so very wrong.

There are a lot of "conditions" out there that I think are just doctors' ways of making you go away. They have no idea what's wrong, and so they lump it under a special heading where there are support groups and finally a name to attach to your symptoms. Now, I'm not saying that these conditions are in the mind or not real, just not easily quantified into a disease--such as cancer or diabetes--with treatments and care options.

Until recently, I figured "back pain" was one of those "conditions" diagnosed after you did--or said you did--every thing recommended to alleviate the pain. Granted, many people that I know with back pain have one incident they can pinpoint that triggered the pain, but there are quite a few who say "it just happened one day." And those are the ones I sort of just dismissed. A lot of them have other issues that may be intertwined with the back pain and, to me, it was just one more thing for the pile. Again, a virtually unverifiable pain that could get you some heavy duty pain killers.

Seven months into this pregnancy and I can fully understand how you could go crazy with back pain. There is no position that alleviates the pain. No relief unless I'm in the pool or bathtub and who can spend entire days in the water?

My threshold for sitting in a chair is about an hour. This makes it hard to do anything, especially when the drive, round trip, to anywhere is longer than an hour. I've had to start splitting up my church attendance (shucks) so that one week, I hit the classes and the next week, I go to Sacrament meeting. School kills me because I drive 40ish minutes, sit for 50 minutes, and then drive another 40 minutes back home.

I remember having back pain with Josh, but I don't remember actually tearing up in the car because I couldn't handle the pain another second. I even had a desk job while I was pregnant with Josh and the mere thought of doing that cushiony job right now is enough to make me want to sob out loud. I drove 35 minutes into work, sat for six hours and then drove 35 minutes back home. While there was discomfort, it wasn't like this.

And why am I regaling you all with the tales of my back aches. So that I'm reminded about this experience the next time I want a baby. "Ah, yes, don't you remember the unceasing back pain that caused you to blubber in your car when you still had 10 weeks to go? Do you really want to do that again?"

Things You Should Never Say to A Pregnant Lady

Apparently, there needs to be some discussion on things that should not be uttered to a pregnant lady:

1. Are you pregnant? (This question should never be asked unless you know--without a doubt--that the lady is pregnant, and even then, that's iffy.)

2. Wow, it's like you sprouted overnight. You look like you're finally starting to gain weight and everything. (Yeah, cause that makes me feel so much better. Thank you. I am 7 months pregnant. I'm not sure what you were expecting.)

3. Geez. (Overheard at the pool when I pulled off my t-shirt to get into the pool).

4. Are you going to eat that?

5. Another Milky Way Bar? (Yeah, you have a problem with that?)

6. I can't believe you're doing that in your condition. (Stand back. I wouldn't want you to catch my condition or anything.)

7. Will you play Mary for our Christmas production? (no.)

8. So, how many do you plan on having? (Ask me later. I'm still working on this one.)

9. Were you hoping for a girl? (What we were really hoping for was a baby, boy or girl.)

10. Oh, I love being pregnant, don't you? (The morning sickness. The headaches. The fatigue. The backaches. The acne. The constant peeing. The insomnia. The comments. Yeah, I love it.)

A New Form of Exercising

So I've recently taken up a new form of exercising--actual exercising and not pseudo-exercising or osmosis-exercising. Pool running. And the consensus is that I should've been doing this for the last six months.

The idea is that you run, in a pool--hence the name pool running. The pool that I've been going to in town has a current pool as well as a regular size pool. Lap swim times are from some absurb hour in the morning, 5:30 I believe, to 7:00 and then from 9:00-9:30 at night. They do leave some lanes open all day for lap swimming. However, there are more interested lap swimmers then lanes and so, depending on when you go (note to self: Tuesdays and Wednesdays are scout nights and there are a lot of teenage boys hanging about--not good) you may have to wait. But I haven't had a lot of problems getting at least half the lane.

A friend and I have been pretty consistent with going swimming twice a week, usually Mondays and Saturdays. We've just been doing laps, but I've been sensing the hard earned leg muscles I gained with running are slowly dwindling away, so I did some research. That's how I found pool running.

The idea is that it mimics the act of running without the impact that actual running has on your joints. Perfect for when you're incubating another human being in your abdominal region. And so I gave it a try a few weeks back. The article said that you should use an aquabelt to keep you afloat (so you're not wasting energy by treading water) in the deep end and then you pump your legs like you're running. The first time I did it, I tried it in the current pool--without the aquabelt of course--because that seemed a little bit more condusive to running. But, I'm too tall for it. At the deepest point, the water only covers half of my expanding belly. That means that at some point around the current pool, the majority of my body--namely, my belly, butt and thighs--is sticking out of the water. Yeah, that's attractive.

So, tonight, I made it to the pool while the scouts were there and there was no room to run in the current pool so I just hung out in the deep end "running" back and forth. Initially, I thought that this was doing nothing for me. I wasn't winded. It certainly didn't feel like I was running. But I kept at it for 20 very brain-numbing minutes. (Pool running is very boring. Every article points this out.) I got a lot of stares, but even more when I pulled myself out and everyone saw my belly.

Right now, though, I'm feeling it in my legs. Even more so then I felt it in my legs from the current pool on Saturday. Apparently, I really did work something. And I'm hooked. I will definitely be adding this to my regimen. The best part was that two ladies across the pool kept looking at me and obviously talking about what I was doing. The minute I got out to leave, they got aquabelts from the side (the pool keeps a stash of them for aerobics) and tried my new found exercise.

I'm a trendsetter!!