Confessions of the Soul

It's nearing the end of the year so here are some *little* confessions:

• I really enjoy reading complete strangers blogs. It's like looking at somebody's diary but having the advantage of never having to look at them in the face afterwards. Google posts their blog pick of the day and depending on how they make me laugh, I add them to my subscription list. Currently, I religiously read the blog of some middle 30's guy in New York that might be one of the funniest things I've ever read. His 39 steps to buying the perfect mattress had me in hysterics. There's also the blog of a cartoonist in London that draws little pictures to go along with each entry. These aren't blogs full of information or answers. Just what they are doing with their lives. It's all very Seinfeldish. Another blog I follow is the Blog of Unnecessary Quotation Marks. People send in photo's of legit signs, postings, ads, etc. that have unnecessary quotation marks. For example, denim "jeans" were on sale the other day. Just today, I added Tacky Christmas Yards to the list. I'm really anxious for the posts after the new year that address the hate mail.
• I still haven't technically graduated. I received my latest test scores and I actually got dumber. I missed the cut off by 2 questions this time instead of the measely one question last time. I'm making another appointment with the academic counselor when the new semester starts to see what my options are. At $130 a pop, these tests are getting mighty expensive. I think they should just let me graduate on the basis of my great personality and good looks...but most likely, I'll be headed back to rerereretake the test. How embarassing.
• I hate almost every haircut I get. In March I loped off a lot of hair and since then haven't really found anything I've liked. I keep going shorter, but have snippers remorse almost immediately. A few weeks ago, I went into Walmart, and the lady (who, incidently, didn't speak English all that well) misunderstood my instructions and now I have a very blunt, not so pretty bob. There's very little I can do with it and I'm trying to reassess my options. We leave for a cruise in a week and all those pictures we'll be showing people will be highlighting my Atilla the Hun do. UPDATE: Friday, I went in a chopped it all off. I am sporting a new, short do (number 61 on the list). I plan on seeing how long it will grow in 2008. Wade was less than thrilled with the new look. I did get lots of compliments on it at church, though.
• I'm running a half marathon in 3ish weeks and I'm not at all prepared. This one is going to hurt. I'm hoping to at least not come in that far behind the neighbor. She's been training her little heart out. I haven't run in 3 weeks. And I don't even have the excuse of not having a working treadmill since Wade fixed it last week. It's just my lazy, chocolate and sugar incased, swelling backside that's keeping me from doing any type of exercise whatsoever. In fact, Wade got me a waterproof housing for my ipod to take to the pool for my laps. Obviously, I can't try it out unless I'm in the pool, swimming laps. But that requires me to get up at 5:00 and get to the pool by 5:15. This hasn't happened yet. I'm recommitting myself to my insane working out schedule on Tuesday. Well, maybe Wednesday.
• I wish I were 10 pounds lighter for our cruise next week. Not because I think I should lose 10 pounds, but mostly because that's what everyone says before they leave on a cruise. "Oh, I wish I would've lost that last 10 pounds."
• I am fascinated with the many different shapes of butts there are out there. I rarely notice how "endowed" women are, but I do stare at butts, female and male alike. It's hard to explain how I classify them. It's not a "this looks good", "this looks bad" tally, but more of a "well, that's strange looking" or "where is it?" or "holy moly" summation.
• I hate the cold. Hate it! Hate it! Hate it! I don't like the snow either. I only like it to ski, so it's only useful for about 3 days a year. And I don't particularly enjoy skiing in the cold. The best time I had was last year when I went up during a bad inversion in the valley and it was 15 degrees warmer on the hill then at home. I skied in a long sleeve shirt and down vest. Perfect. Back in the day, my dreams were to finish at the two year college I was at, work a semester, and move to Hawaii to finish school. Those plans were thwarted when I met Wade, but every January, I think to myself "what if I wouldn't have gone upstairs at the dorms looking for Wade that fateful Sunday. Would I have spent the next 10 years living on the beach?" It's wistful thinking at best. I probably wouldn't taken a semester off and then never have the guts--or the money--to leave to go to Hawaii, but I still think about it.
• I have roughly the same resolutions on my list every year. Every year, I do good the first week, but then taper off and by November, December, when I think about them again, I tell myself I'll just put it on the list for next year. No use starting back up. The new year is here again. I guess the first resolution I should put up is Achieve Success With All Resolutions. Maybe a prize if I finish.

I feel much better after having confessed. Tomorrow, I'll post my resolutions for the year. Maybe if all of Wide World Web knows my resolutions I'll be more resolute in keeping them. Happy New Year!

Tales From the Potty Number 2

Last week, I was sitting in the bedroom working on our Christmas present for my brother and Wade was in the TV room working on our Christmas present for his mom. I heard Josh wander into the bathroom but didn't think much of it. Next thing I know, he's babbling about going poopie in the potty. I get up and meander into the bathroom to check out genius kid's contribution, and there it is. He's not lying. I'm skeptical he'll be able to repeat this because I don't want my hopes to be dashed again (see Tales From the Potty Part 1). However, I give him the right dosage of accolades and we make the requisite calls to grandmas, aunts, uncles, MENSA board, etc.

The next time he has to go we are at a friend's house and he's in the bathtub (long story involving two toddlers and a plate of purple paint). I get him out and hold him on the potty because his little bum is so small, if he sits down on it, he'll fold in half and fall in. He goes again. We do a congo line into the kitchen to celebrate two times in a row.

While he seems to have this area down pact, it's going pee in the potty we seem to be having problems with. But, for the time being, I'm glad that he's got Number 2 down and I'm not as worried about Number 1.

Fast forward to today. He's only had one accident in the last 10 days and I think he gambled and lost, so I don't really count it as an accident. In any case, he was very remorseful about it, so he knows where he's suppose to go potty. This morning, I wake up and jump in the shower while he's still asleep in the hall. I can hear him get up. I come out and there's my stark naked boy running around. Not my boy in a diaper, but my boy stark naked. And then he gets up on the potty and pees. Actually pees in the potty. YAY!!! YAY!!! There is light at the end of the tunnel. However, I learned from last time's experience. I'm not throwing the pull ups out just yet.

A Rare Movie Review

I don't watch a lot of movies and I hardly feel justified to review a movie since my enjoyment in a particular movie is determined by 3 tenets:

(a) How hard and often did I laugh?
(b) Did the movie make me cry at least once?
(c) How many people died (in the movie, not at the movie)?

However, today I went to see a movie with a friend. I was rooting for P.S. I Love You, but we were late getting there from lunch so we settled for Juno.

I haven't heard much about Juno. Last night, I read a review from the Salt Lake Trib that gave it four stars. I don't read too much into the critics analysis of movies anyways, so it was no big whoopdedoo. Just that it only gave P.S. 1 1/2 stars.

Juno is about a teenage girl that ends up getting pregnant by her best guy pal in a moment of stupidity. It has the markings of being a Made For TV Special, but somehow it rose above that honor. From the moment we sat down, it was laugh-out-loud hilarious. Not just chuckling either. At one point, I actually snorted. It doesn't glorify teenage pregnany nor does it outright condemn it. It's just a story following a girl in an awkward situation. There's a lot to be learned from it. It's definitely not a movie for the person who can't see beyond the black and white of teen pregnancy, but I would highly recommend it. It passed my three part test...I laughed a lot very hard, I cried at least once, and nobody dies.

As we were leaving, we passed the theater where P.S was being shown, and everyone leaving was wiping their eyes and commenting on how sad of a movie it was. We definitely chose the better of the two movies.

Christmas Bah Hum Bugs

There are a few things I detest about the Christmas Holiday:

(a) I hate it when people criticize other peoples' gifts in front of the recepient AND the giver. I think it's tacky, rude, and just plain mean. It's not your gift, so why do you care? And you didn't give it, so it's not hanging over your head if the recepient doesn't like it. Keep your mouth shut and offer your opinion later.

(b) I have come to detest Christmas Bingo. I hadn't played Christmas Bingo until I got married, but I have yet to come home from it thinking it turned out better than I had expected. The idea behind Christmas Bingo is that you bring a gift costing a predetermined amount and everyone with a gift plays bingo to unwrap a gift in the middle. The first time you get bingo, you get to choose a gift--either one that is already unwrapped or one from the middle. When you get blackout, you get to choose the gift that, supposedly, goes home with you. It seems pretty easy and fun on paper. The notion that there's a predetermined amount for the gift is suppose to even the playing field. Ideally, you should go home with a gift comparable in value to the one you brough. However, it hardly ever works out this way. For example, when we use to play it with the entire extended family, some people would bring really crappy gifts, like salt and pepper shakers, and go home with really good gifts, like gift cards and massagers. Those of us who brought the good gifts usually left with the crappy gifts. The key to a successful Christmas bingo game is to bring gifts that you don't mind taking home yourself. Another problem is that for awhile we allowed the younger kids to play bingo with us. This resulted in a 10 year old walking away with a package of sausages and crackers, while an adult left with a ball and bat. Now, they have their own bingo game, but what to do with the one kid quite a bit older than the rest. Does he play bingo with the adults or the kids? So, this year, I was willing to give Christmas Bingo another try. We had retired it from the extended family parties, but were going to do it for the sibling gifts. Part of my dislike for Christmas Bingo stems from always being one of the last to black out, so going home with salt and pepper shakers or a scarf when I brought a much cooler gift. We started our game in the basement of my in-laws. One person got mad at the rules and left in a huff, so we were down a player, but still had her present in the middle. Then mom put in extra presents. So now we have 3 more presents than players. We played, and for once I was one of the first people to blackout. That never happens. I had my eye on a full-body massager and promptly picked it up for my blackout. All was good in my little Christmas Bingo world. Wade ended up with one of the gifts we had brought. It was a good gift in my opinion so I was okay with it. The game ended and I thought all was good until my father-in-law turned to me and asked if he could please trade his gift for mine. His gift was the other present we brought. I want the record to show that if it would have been anybody else I would've flat out said no. But, after 7 years of being in the family, my father-in-law still scares the daylights out of me, and before I could comprehend the magnitude of what I was doing, I was handing over my massager and receiving back the gift I had brought. The problem isn't that I didn't want my gifts back, it's just that if I had wanted these particular gifts so badly, I would've just bought them for myself in the first place. The massager was a cool gift I probably wouldn't have bought for myself. The beef with this whole exchange is that I was taken aside later to be told that the massager was actually going to go to the person who left in a huff and didn't play the game in the first place. I'm over it now. I really am. I came home last night and bought me a $20 gift that I really wanted online. But I'm refusing now--December 26, 2007--to play Christmas Bingo next year.

(c) I hate bean counting. I hate being reminded of how little/how much a gift I receive/give may or may not have cost. It's gift-giving commentary that, again, I find rude and tacky. As long as the present I receive/give fills a need or want, then I consider it a good gift. Growing up, we never sat down and mentally calculated if our presents were the same "cost-wise" as everyone elses. I don't even do that now. Some years are more lean than other years, and some years we have more to give. I certainly don't want to be conscious of what everyone else's economic standings are before buying gifts for parents as to not "offend" everyone. When we start showing up with matching Lexus' for the 'rents then we can talk.

Not all of Christmas is bad...

(a) This year, in my family, we chose to spend the bulk of our money for sibling gifts on a family in need. We pooled our resources and were able to buy 3 boys their entire Christmas. Instead of buying gifts for each other, we made them instead. The rules were that we had to make it and could only spend $10 for materials. This turned out to be really cool. I gave my oldest brother and his wife a cookbook of all the recipes from when we were growing up. I typed them up and put them in a photo album. It took a lot of time, but they were genuinely grateful for the present. They in turn gave my twin brother and his wife a handmade tie rack and a magnetic recipe card holder. My twin brother gave us a handmade wooden truck for Josh, a snowman kit and a book of their favorite recipes. This idea turned out to be really cool and we're planning on doing it next year.

(b) I love the day after Christmas. It feels like an enormous weight has been lifted and I'm ready to tackle another year. And there are some really good sales going on. I'm always reflective the week between Christmas and New Years about what to change about myself for next year. It's a good time to choose my resolutions.

(c) We had some really good food this year. It started with a catered meal at Wade's aunt's house on Sunday and continued right up to last night with New York Steaks at my parents house. And all those treats...

(d) I really enjoy making treats, though I don't make a lot of them. I like taking them out to the neighbors, but I sometimes leave it to the last minute. I was delivering neighbor gifts on Christmas Eve before we left to go up to Wade's parents.

(e) I like getting together with everyone and playing games.

See much more good than bad...

Merry Freakin' Christmas

I dread buying gifts for my dear husband. It's hard to find the exact thing he wants. This year was no exception. However, as an added bonus, at some point in our travels the last few weeks he had mentioned what he really wanted. I, for the life of me, could not recall this conversation. I can name every woman at church by first and last name, but I cannot remember a simple conversation about what Wade wants for Christmas.

Every year I strike out. Not that I don't get something he needs or wants, just that I don't get the exact thing he needs or wants. And birthdays, Valentine's Day, anniversaries...they just add to the stress.

As I was mulling about at Walmart the other day, I come upon Bourne Ultimatum. I pick it up, along with the first two Bourne movies, because I figure it will at least make a somewhat good present and I'm plum out of ideas. Later, at home, Wade is fishing around for what I got him for Christmas. To quiet him down, I lie and say I remember our "conversation". "Great! So you got me the Bourne Trilogy!" I want to scream and jump up and down--not because he guessed the present but because I actually got it right for once in the 7 years we've been together. Now a new dilemma presents itself: He's guessed the present, so now the surprise is gone. What to get him now?

I went out on a limb and bought him new clothes. The previous times I've attempted this have ended badly, but he's in desperate need of new jeans and shirts for work. I scour the store and find the last pair of decent jeans in Wade's size. I know he's probably going to want to take them back, but it's a start. I find two nice shirts for work as well.

Come Christmas morning, he opens the package and immediately tries on the jeans. A good omen. They don't fit like his other jeans and he's a little skeptical, but I insist that they're grown up jeans--you know, jeans that make you look 30 and not 17. He reluctantly puts them in the washer (wahoo, it's a sealed deal) to see if they'll shrink. They don't and he actually wore a pair of jeans I bought him to my parents house for dinner. As for the shirts, he likes them both and they got washed as well. I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks.

As for me, I would like to consider myself an easy person to shop for. I like clothes. I like movies and music and books. I enjoy shopping myself so you can never go wrong with a giftcard. I like puzzles, crosswords, eating, running, skiing, swimming, biking...the list is endless. I have a ton of projects (see list) I would like to complete. Why can't everyone be this easy to shop for??

Oh How the Mighty Fall

I bowled my first turkey today. That's three (3) strikes in a row. This helped rally my score to a pathetic 104. Barely over 100. For you pseudo-mathematicians, when you bowl a turkey in any frame but the last frame, you get at least 60 points. I, unfortunately, bowled my turkey in the last frame. I got only 30 points. But I did redeem myself from a dowright humilating score. Sadie bowled a turkey in the last frame of the previous game to help pull us over the other team. Sadie's handicap is 55 and Kandiss's is 61. We have to bowl extra good to come close to winning since they have the two lowest handicaps in the league. I'm happy to report that we won all three games this week and have moved from last place to third place in the standings. We're making some serious gain.

Any Good Ideas Out There

Christmas is fastly approaching. Fast. And my visiting teaching partner and I and our extended families are supplying Christmas for our friend who is dying of cancer. We have the kids and the dad taken care of, but what do we get M? Does anyone have an idea? We thought maybe an ipod for when she has her treatments but, turns out, she doesn't listen to a lot of music and she HATES headphones. Nice. So where does that leave us? She also has limited mobility in her left hand so that lessens the options as well. Any help would be greatly appreciated in this area.

On a happier note, tomorrow is Thursday, which is bowling day. I look forward to Thursdays with an overzealous approach. Every day I wake up and do a mental check for what day it is. One day closer to Thursday. It's sad what my life has become, but happy that it's this and not other things.

What are you, crazy?

This morning, I rolled out of bed and donned my winter running clothes and headed outside with the next door neighbor, Christina. She really wants to run a half marathon in January and I--in a moment of nostalgia--agreed to train and run it with her. She has 4 kids, so we don't train together during the week. We're both lucky to get a run in when we can fit it in, so it's too hard to have a set time. But Saturdays, for our long runs, the idea is to get together. Between us both being out of town and me being sick, this is the first long run we've done together. I must confess, however, that I haven't been doing my long runs at all. And, as long as I'm confessing, I haven't run in 2 weeks. I thought maybe the snow would deter us another week, but she was all gungho. So, I slodged out there and we started off.

It was cold. It was wet. It was snowing for crying out loud. She's a machine. It's good to run with a machine. It keeps you going. However, it's better to run on a machine because then you don't get cold. Or wet. But mine is broken and long runs are hard to do on a treadmill. So there we are, outside, in the middle of a snowstorm, trodding our way down the streets while people sat cozily on their couches sipping hot cocoa and laughing at us. I thought for sure we would turn around before we got too far. I was so very wrong. People actually stopped, while in their nice warm cars, to tell us we were crazy. We ran past a church holding a Christmas Breakfast and could hear the roars of laughter directed at us.

It's good that people think you're crazy. I mean, we're not crazy enough to do anything that would directly result in our harm, but it is nice to come inside and say you've run 10 MILES today. In a snowstorm. With just a longsleeve shirt. And take a nap because you deserve it.

I Had No Idea

Yesterday was the first really big Relief Society function I've been a part of planning and orchestrating. I had no idea that much time and energy went in to making it happen. Everything has suffered the past few weeks as I've been consumed with this task.

Tuesday night, I arrived at the church at 8:30 pm to begin assembling Parley Street, Nauvoo in the back of the cultural hall. Two ladies had constructed, using cardboard boxes from the local furniture store, three life size store fronts. Our task was to figure out how to get them to stay up. We employed the use of every imaginable resource we could find. Ladders, bookshelves, portable chalkboards, duct tape, staple guns, etc. At 12:30, we called it a night, but at least our three buildings were in an upright position. I finally fell asleep at about 2:30 and woke up at 6 am for aerobics. I thought surely there would be enough time in the day to take a nap.

Yesterday, beginning at 9:30 am, I was at the church setting up tables, reconfiguring the "street", hanging lights, chasing kids, running errands, cooking, etc. It was crazy. At 5:15, I left to go home. I had to return with silverware and got stuck looking for a mike. I finally got home at 6:00, jumped in the shower and got ready for the blasted thing. The babysitter showed up at 6:50 and we headed over for the final production.

For a program that "no one wanted anyway" over 220 people showed up. It was a really nice ham dinner and then a program that lasted about an hour. We left to relieve the babysitter and then I changed clothes and went back to help clean up. The good news is that cleaning up doesn't take nearly the time that setting up does. I was home by 10:45. I was dead tire and my legs were really sore from standing up all day. I'm glad it went well, and the turnout was nice.

Fast forward to today. I'm on a bowling league (#55 on the list) and off we went. The first game was bad. All three on my team played integral parts in yesterday's festivities, so we were still a little sleep deprived. Kandiss and Sadie are both excellent bowlers and I'm there just to keep the mood light. In any case, their handicaps are quite low (the better you are, the less you need help) and mine is a bit higher. So, mathematically, they need to bowl incredibly good so that our overall score will beat out the other team that we're playing against. Logically, I need to bowl dang good to help pad our score so the pressure isn't all on them. For the first game, Sadie and Kandiss bowled pretty well, but I did mediocrely, so we didn't win that one. However, the second game we started dancing and yelling every time one of us got a strike. It really throws the other teams off. I pulled a 148. I've NEVER bowled that good. It's a good day when I get above 100. The third game, we went crazy. If all three people get a strike in the same frame, we each get a free soda from the bowling alley. We all got strikes in two frames, so two free sodas next week. YAY! I had no idea that there were bowling gods and they smile on us when we're having fun. I just know everyone else was jealous and wished they were on our team. :)