Cleaning.
I despise it. It's boring and tedious and holds my interest for about a minute.
However, recently I started to listen to podcasts that seemed to make the time I clean (which, incidently, is A LOT of time) a tad bit more enjoyable.
Not Disneyland enjoyable. Not really even Chick Flick enjoyable. But more enjoyable than, say, poking my eyeballs out with a fork.
At first, I found a few podcasts dealing with stand up comedy. Why? Because I LOVE stand up comedy. I could never do it--most of my jokes would be about my mom (who is HILARIOUS. Really, she is. But she also says the funniest things unintentionally) and she's made it emphatically clear I am not to poke fun of her in a public setting. Ever. (Love you mom!)--and besides it's a hard sport. But I LOVE watching (or listening to) people who are truly skilled at it.
And after listening to those for a while, I started branching out. I found This American Life which I LOVE and then I found this other podcast--History Stuff for the History Buff. I was hesitant at first, but after downloading the first show, I was HOOKED. I downloaded three (3!) years worth of podcasts (like 210 podcasts) and have methodically been making my way through them.
Each episode is about 10-15 minutes in length though some of them do go a bit longer. Depending on what they're covering. The hosts are slightly younger (eek!) than me, so it's not like you're sitting in 11th grade American History listening to your 100 year old teacher drone on about whatever. And it's not 3 years of the same stuff. You bounce around all over the place. The Spanish American War. The Civil War. The Underground Railroad. Amelia Earhart. Queen Elizabeth I. All the Queen Elizabeths. The Victorian Era. The Revolutionary War.
You get the idea.
And the information is SO interesting. Much more interesting than I remember when we were glossing over it in school.
At some point, the podcast got changed to Stuff You Missed in History Class. But the format stayed the same. Two hosts (all the hosts are English majors--go figure) talk about the subject for the day in a very casual setting.
The point being: I'm actually learning something while going about the mundane things I have to do everyday. And this helps. A LOT.
(Here's the website if you are interested: http://electronics.howstuffworks.com/stuff-you-missed-in-history-class-podcast.htm. You can also download the episodes for free on Itunes.)
Completely Unrelated Sidenote: I'm going to actually sit down and write a book. Seriously, I am. And I'm going to start soon. If I wait, then someone else will become the next Stephanie Meyer and I'll be the lonely one listening to History Podcasts as some substitute for actual intellectual stimulation. Oh, wait...
On the sidebar in the very near future you will notice a blogroll that will be my book. I figure this will make me accountable for how much time I actually devote to this craft since right now, it's hovering around zero. Feel free to click on over there and leave comments on what you like, what you don't like, suggestions, etc. If you don't want to, that's cool too. Be nice though. No need to completely tear me apart. Unless it's constructively tearing me apart.
(Note: my book will not have any vampires in it.)
Friday, June 11, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
What's For Dinner Wednesday--Orange Glazed Ham
Another find from my weight watchers cookbook.
1 (3/4 lb) ready-to-eat boneless ham steak (I couldn't find one like this, but I did find four separate ham steaks that equaled about 3/4 lb total)
4 whole cloves
4 slices canned pineapple, drained and quartered. Reserve 1/2 C juice
1/2 C orange juice
3 T orange marmalade (found where the jams are)
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1. Preheat oven to 400 F. Make several cuts along the edge of the ham; stud with the cloves. (Since I had four separate pieces of meat, I just studded each piece with a clove). Place in a shallow pan. Place the pineapple around the ham.
2. To make glaze, in a small saucepan, combine the pineapple juice, orange juice, marmalade, and cinnamon; bring to a boil until slightly thickened (about 5-6 minutes). Pour the glaze over the ham. Bake, basting occasionally with the glaze, about 15 minutes. The glaze should be thickened. If there is too much liquid, remove the ham from the pan, keep warm. Return the pineapple and glaze to the upper rack of the oven until the glaze thickens, 5-10 minutes. Serve the ham with the pineapple and glaze.
Nutrition: (1/4 of ham and glaze): 196 Cal, 4 g Fat, 1 g Sat Fat, 0 g Trans Fat, 40 mg Chol, 1,224 mg Sod, 23 g Carb, 1 g Fib, 17 g Prot, 25 mg Calc. WW points 4
This was fast to make and tasted great. We even got Josh to try some. It would make a great holiday meal because every time I took a bite, I kept being reminded of Christmas.
1 (3/4 lb) ready-to-eat boneless ham steak (I couldn't find one like this, but I did find four separate ham steaks that equaled about 3/4 lb total)
4 whole cloves
4 slices canned pineapple, drained and quartered. Reserve 1/2 C juice
1/2 C orange juice
3 T orange marmalade (found where the jams are)
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1. Preheat oven to 400 F. Make several cuts along the edge of the ham; stud with the cloves. (Since I had four separate pieces of meat, I just studded each piece with a clove). Place in a shallow pan. Place the pineapple around the ham.
2. To make glaze, in a small saucepan, combine the pineapple juice, orange juice, marmalade, and cinnamon; bring to a boil until slightly thickened (about 5-6 minutes). Pour the glaze over the ham. Bake, basting occasionally with the glaze, about 15 minutes. The glaze should be thickened. If there is too much liquid, remove the ham from the pan, keep warm. Return the pineapple and glaze to the upper rack of the oven until the glaze thickens, 5-10 minutes. Serve the ham with the pineapple and glaze.
Nutrition: (1/4 of ham and glaze): 196 Cal, 4 g Fat, 1 g Sat Fat, 0 g Trans Fat, 40 mg Chol, 1,224 mg Sod, 23 g Carb, 1 g Fib, 17 g Prot, 25 mg Calc. WW points 4
This was fast to make and tasted great. We even got Josh to try some. It would make a great holiday meal because every time I took a bite, I kept being reminded of Christmas.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
What's For Dinner Wednesday--Sicilian Fusilli with Spinach, Ricotta and Raisins
So, my good buddy Mary is always commenting on my weekly recipes. But the thing is I know that Mary doesn't eat half of the stuff I post because it's so high in calories or fat and she's a good girl. Then I got to thinking (about mile 8 in the Memorial Day Half Marathon that I was running with Mary (pictures to come soon) where Mary had left me in the dust and I was all alone on what could possibly be the most boring and unscenic 13 miles EVER) that perhaps Mary was on to something. Maybe we could all stand to eat a little healthier. So, as my commitment to my good buddy Mary, who is looking for new healthy recipes, and because I'm in a health kick right now anyways I'm going to finish off the year with a healthy recipe every week. Or at least more healthy recipes than not. We'll see how it goes.
This week--Sicilian Fusilli with Spinach, Ricotta and Raisins. I found a Weight Watchers cookbook at the library yesterday and checked it out. It has a lot of good (lookin') recipes. So many in fact, that I might just have to order myself a copy. Anyways, that's where I found this recipe.
First things first, Fusilli is a type of pasta. It's a funny name for corkscrew pasta, I think, because that's what it looks like. I could only find a whole wheat version at the market I was at. I know Wade and the kids don't like whole wheat pasta, so I made them up a batch of wide egg noodles since that was the closest thing I had in the cupboard.
So, here's the recipe:
2 T golden raisins
2 C fusilli
1 (10 ounce) box frozen chopped spinach, thawed
4 tsp olive oil
1/2 onion, finely chopped
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 C Parmesan cheese
1/4 C part-skim ricotta cheese
1/4 tsp ground white pepper (black pepper is fine)
1. In a small bowl, soak the raisins in hot water to cover until soft and plumped, about 10 minutes. Drain.
2. Cook the fusilli according to package directions; drain and place in a serving bowl.
3. Meanwhile, cook the spinach according to package directions; drain, squeezing out the excess liquid.
4. In a medium skillet, heat oil. Saute the onion until softened, about 2 minutes. Reduce the heat and stir in the spinach and salt; cook until wilted, about 2 minutes.
SIDE NOTE: I have never seen spinach wilt, so I have no idea what this step means.
Add the spinach, raisins, Parmesan, and ricotta to the fusilli; toss to combine then sprinkle with the pepper.
Per serving (about 1 1/2 C): 302 Cal, 10 g fat, 3 g Sat fat, 0 g trans fat, 13 mg Chol, 408 mg Sod, 40 g Carb, 3 g Fib, 14 g Prot, 280 mg Calc. WW Points: 6.
Wouldn't you know it, I forgot to put the raisins in. But what we did eat, it was really good. And this was a quick meal to make. About 20 minutes start to finish if you can multi-task the pasta and the spinach.
This week--Sicilian Fusilli with Spinach, Ricotta and Raisins. I found a Weight Watchers cookbook at the library yesterday and checked it out. It has a lot of good (lookin') recipes. So many in fact, that I might just have to order myself a copy. Anyways, that's where I found this recipe.
First things first, Fusilli is a type of pasta. It's a funny name for corkscrew pasta, I think, because that's what it looks like. I could only find a whole wheat version at the market I was at. I know Wade and the kids don't like whole wheat pasta, so I made them up a batch of wide egg noodles since that was the closest thing I had in the cupboard.
So, here's the recipe:
2 T golden raisins
2 C fusilli
1 (10 ounce) box frozen chopped spinach, thawed
4 tsp olive oil
1/2 onion, finely chopped
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 C Parmesan cheese
1/4 C part-skim ricotta cheese
1/4 tsp ground white pepper (black pepper is fine)
1. In a small bowl, soak the raisins in hot water to cover until soft and plumped, about 10 minutes. Drain.
2. Cook the fusilli according to package directions; drain and place in a serving bowl.
3. Meanwhile, cook the spinach according to package directions; drain, squeezing out the excess liquid.
4. In a medium skillet, heat oil. Saute the onion until softened, about 2 minutes. Reduce the heat and stir in the spinach and salt; cook until wilted, about 2 minutes.
SIDE NOTE: I have never seen spinach wilt, so I have no idea what this step means.
Add the spinach, raisins, Parmesan, and ricotta to the fusilli; toss to combine then sprinkle with the pepper.
Per serving (about 1 1/2 C): 302 Cal, 10 g fat, 3 g Sat fat, 0 g trans fat, 13 mg Chol, 408 mg Sod, 40 g Carb, 3 g Fib, 14 g Prot, 280 mg Calc. WW Points: 6.
Wouldn't you know it, I forgot to put the raisins in. But what we did eat, it was really good. And this was a quick meal to make. About 20 minutes start to finish if you can multi-task the pasta and the spinach.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
The Rest of the Trip (Maybe)
Pictures aren't uploading. Sorry. But you didn't miss much. Just what was around in Ouray. But I have other things to say, and this post has been hanging over my head. So it is what it is. If I can get it to load, I'll put them in later.
I know. The suspense has been killing you, hasn't it?
So recap: Left, spent night in Green River, went to Arches, stayed in Moab, went back to Arches. Left for Ouray, where we almost ran out of gas. There. All caught up.
We left off in Bedrock, Colorado where we came upon the gas pump that God put there for us. In fact, I bet if we were to drive back tomorrow, the general store would be closed and boarded up, and the old guy sitting on his porch would say something like "that store? That's been closed for 15 or 20 years now."
After we got our heavenly gas, we headed on to our destination.
Why Ouray? Well, why not? My parents suggested it to us, and to be fair we were both a little skeptical. But, I looked it up on the internet and they had some interesting things. Like a hot springs pool. And a bunch of easy hikes the kids could do. And it was the off-season, so the prices were low. So that's why. No other compelling reason.
We arrived uneventfully. We were staying at a fairly new place that just opened for the season the weekend before. It was cute with two king beds and a balcony overlooking the river.
We headed to dinner at one of the only open restaurants in town (think Park City Main Street, minus the Yuppiness of Park City. (Apologies to Park City residents)) a Mexican food place. It was here that we felt so out of place because apparently in Ouray, you're born an adult and little children don't actually exist. We got seated and they brought out chips and salsa. I was paying more attention to the people at the bar--who were conducting some whole-town-reunion-thingie than to my own kid, because before we knew it, A. had started dipping chips in the salsa and sucking the salsa off. Cute, until I tried some salsa and it was a bit on the spicy side. I watched A. and she seemed to be enjoying herself. About 30 seconds later, the heat registered and there was a minor melt down. The waitress came running over to see what was going on and rushed back to the kitchen to find some tortillas to take away the heat. I had to take her outside and let her mouth cool down.
Poor baby.
The next day we woke up and headed down to our next continental breakfast. Then we headed over to Box Canyon Falls. The hike was short (maybe 1/2 mile) and the views were gorgeous.
Then we went back to the hotel, changed into our swimsuits and headed to the Hot Springs. Ouray has a huge (comparatively) pool made from the hot springs flowing into the city. There are actually about 5 different pools with different degrees of hotness. They even have a lap pool opened year round outdoors.
I want one.
So, there was a pool for all of us. It was like swimming in a bathtub. Perfect.
After swimming we came back and took naps. Then we started the quest for ice cream. It took a dozen phone calls to three different towns before we settled on shakes--the closest we could find. We headed to downtown Ouray (poof--there you see it, there you don't). Lo and behold, it was closed. So we headed to the bagel shop across the street. We ended up getting sandwiches to go with our ice cream. Josh was insistent on getting pink ice cream. He took like 5 licks and then didn't want any more. Out of principle, I ate both his and mine.
I spent a lot of time looking for ice cream, okay.
We decided to take a drive up the Million Dollar Highway (where they should have spent more by adding guardrails). It's a gorgeous drive and well worth it. Heading down, we decided to check out the campground near town. Up the road a bit, there was an all wooden bridge we were expected to drive over. We sat and thought about it for a little bit, watched another car go over and decided to risk it.
SCARIEST thing ever!!
A few minutes at the park rounded out a good day and we all slept well.
Next day, we woke up, ate breakfast and headed home, driving six straight hours without stopping. We pulled into the driveway and Wade opened the garage door. Out scampered a white and orange cat. And then the stench hit us. A trapped cat 5 days in a waterless, foodless garage. The cat is one that spends a lot of time on our porch taunting our own cats. He must have snuck in there while we were getting ready to leave.
Yeah. We're still cleaning up that mess.
So, overall, this was a great road trip to take with the kids. It was somewhere new and pretty laid back. Not too much that you have to have a vacation from your vacation. Just whatever felt good for that day. I would definitely recommend it to someone looking for somewhere to chillax.
There is one more story I haven't shared, but it would make a perfect blog entry on it's own, so I'm saving it. And it's accompanying picture.
So recap: Left, spent night in Green River, went to Arches, stayed in Moab, went back to Arches. Left for Ouray, where we almost ran out of gas. There. All caught up.
We left off in Bedrock, Colorado where we came upon the gas pump that God put there for us. In fact, I bet if we were to drive back tomorrow, the general store would be closed and boarded up, and the old guy sitting on his porch would say something like "that store? That's been closed for 15 or 20 years now."
After we got our heavenly gas, we headed on to our destination.
Why Ouray? Well, why not? My parents suggested it to us, and to be fair we were both a little skeptical. But, I looked it up on the internet and they had some interesting things. Like a hot springs pool. And a bunch of easy hikes the kids could do. And it was the off-season, so the prices were low. So that's why. No other compelling reason.
We arrived uneventfully. We were staying at a fairly new place that just opened for the season the weekend before. It was cute with two king beds and a balcony overlooking the river.
We headed to dinner at one of the only open restaurants in town (think Park City Main Street, minus the Yuppiness of Park City. (Apologies to Park City residents)) a Mexican food place. It was here that we felt so out of place because apparently in Ouray, you're born an adult and little children don't actually exist. We got seated and they brought out chips and salsa. I was paying more attention to the people at the bar--who were conducting some whole-town-reunion-thingie than to my own kid, because before we knew it, A. had started dipping chips in the salsa and sucking the salsa off. Cute, until I tried some salsa and it was a bit on the spicy side. I watched A. and she seemed to be enjoying herself. About 30 seconds later, the heat registered and there was a minor melt down. The waitress came running over to see what was going on and rushed back to the kitchen to find some tortillas to take away the heat. I had to take her outside and let her mouth cool down.
Poor baby.
The next day we woke up and headed down to our next continental breakfast. Then we headed over to Box Canyon Falls. The hike was short (maybe 1/2 mile) and the views were gorgeous.
Then we went back to the hotel, changed into our swimsuits and headed to the Hot Springs. Ouray has a huge (comparatively) pool made from the hot springs flowing into the city. There are actually about 5 different pools with different degrees of hotness. They even have a lap pool opened year round outdoors.
I want one.
So, there was a pool for all of us. It was like swimming in a bathtub. Perfect.
After swimming we came back and took naps. Then we started the quest for ice cream. It took a dozen phone calls to three different towns before we settled on shakes--the closest we could find. We headed to downtown Ouray (poof--there you see it, there you don't). Lo and behold, it was closed. So we headed to the bagel shop across the street. We ended up getting sandwiches to go with our ice cream. Josh was insistent on getting pink ice cream. He took like 5 licks and then didn't want any more. Out of principle, I ate both his and mine.
I spent a lot of time looking for ice cream, okay.
We decided to take a drive up the Million Dollar Highway (where they should have spent more by adding guardrails). It's a gorgeous drive and well worth it. Heading down, we decided to check out the campground near town. Up the road a bit, there was an all wooden bridge we were expected to drive over. We sat and thought about it for a little bit, watched another car go over and decided to risk it.
SCARIEST thing ever!!
A few minutes at the park rounded out a good day and we all slept well.
Next day, we woke up, ate breakfast and headed home, driving six straight hours without stopping. We pulled into the driveway and Wade opened the garage door. Out scampered a white and orange cat. And then the stench hit us. A trapped cat 5 days in a waterless, foodless garage. The cat is one that spends a lot of time on our porch taunting our own cats. He must have snuck in there while we were getting ready to leave.
Yeah. We're still cleaning up that mess.
So, overall, this was a great road trip to take with the kids. It was somewhere new and pretty laid back. Not too much that you have to have a vacation from your vacation. Just whatever felt good for that day. I would definitely recommend it to someone looking for somewhere to chillax.
There is one more story I haven't shared, but it would make a perfect blog entry on it's own, so I'm saving it. And it's accompanying picture.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
What's For Dinner Wednesday--Tuscan Pork Medallions
I'm a little behind--like 3 or 4 weeks. Plus one day. But who's counting, right?
This week's recipe is courtesy of the Taste of Home magazine my grandma has been giving me a subscription to for a few years now.
Tuscan Pork Medallions
3/4 lb pork tenderloin, cut into 1 in slices
1/4 tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
1 T butter
2 thin slices deli ham, chopped
1/2 tsp sage
2 T balsamic vinegar
1/2 C heavy whipping cream
3/4 C chopped plum tomatoes (I used Roma. I don't know that there's really a difference.)
4 fresh basil leaves thinly sliced
1 tsp parmesan cheese
Sprinkle pork with salt and pepper. In a large skillet, cook pork in butter until no longer pink. Remove; set aside.
In the same skillet, saute deli ham in drippings until browned. Add garlic and sage. Cook 1 minute longer. Add vinegar, stirring to loosen browned bits from pan.
Stir in the cream; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cook and stir for 1-2 minutes or until slightly thickened. Add tomatoes and pork. Heat through. Sprinkle each serving with basil and cheese.
___________________________
This turned out to be really good. Wade especially liked the sauce. We served it with rice and rolls and it was a quick meal to put together. About 30 minutes, start to finish.
This week's recipe is courtesy of the Taste of Home magazine my grandma has been giving me a subscription to for a few years now.
Tuscan Pork Medallions
3/4 lb pork tenderloin, cut into 1 in slices
1/4 tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
1 T butter
2 thin slices deli ham, chopped
1/2 tsp sage
2 T balsamic vinegar
1/2 C heavy whipping cream
3/4 C chopped plum tomatoes (I used Roma. I don't know that there's really a difference.)
4 fresh basil leaves thinly sliced
1 tsp parmesan cheese
Sprinkle pork with salt and pepper. In a large skillet, cook pork in butter until no longer pink. Remove; set aside.
In the same skillet, saute deli ham in drippings until browned. Add garlic and sage. Cook 1 minute longer. Add vinegar, stirring to loosen browned bits from pan.
Stir in the cream; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cook and stir for 1-2 minutes or until slightly thickened. Add tomatoes and pork. Heat through. Sprinkle each serving with basil and cheese.
___________________________
This turned out to be really good. Wade especially liked the sauce. We served it with rice and rolls and it was a quick meal to put together. About 30 minutes, start to finish.
Intermission
I try to keep things light on here because that's the type of person I am. However, I wanted to take an intermission from my travel log to put my thoughts down. I don't really talk much about this because it's really close to my heart and I don't like to cry in front of people. But I think today merits a few tears and thoughts.
Today marks the 5th birthday of my niece, Shaelee. She's my twin brother's second child.
I remember my brother calling after their 18 week ultrasound. I was pregnant with Josh and it was exciting that they were expecting too, though Amber's pregnancy had been a fairly rough one. I just figured that it was par for the course, considering how my pregnancy had been going.
Scott casually mentioned that they had their ultrasound and it was another girl. And then there was a pause.
"There are some problems. We go back in to see exactly what tomorrow."
Having had a scare with Josh on his ultrasound and finding out everything was normal, I wasn't immediately panicked. Then Scott mentioned that the baby's head was misshaped and there were some other markers present that suggested dwarfism.
I was dumbfounded. I had never heard of someone being diagnosed with dwarfism in the womb, though, obviously, it must happen.
Over the next few weeks, we would learn the severity of Shaelee's condition. She wasn't going to survive and my brother and his wife had to make the difficult decision of deciding whether to continue on with the pregnancy or to terminate it. The decision came easily to them, though the journey was not. They bravely carried little Shaelee knowing full well that they would have to say goodbye to her shortly after her birth.
I remember thinking every time someone would ask me when I was due or what I was having or if we had chosen a name, how hard it must be to have to carry a baby knowing that it wasn't going to live and still have to answer those questions. You aren't going to tell the sweet grandma in the mall or the lady on the elevator the ordeal you're enduring.
I gave birth to Josh on April 25, and my brother and his family made the trek up to see us in the hospital. I could tell that the visit was hard but that they wanted me to know that they were genuinely happy for us.
A month later, Amber went into preterm labor at 32 weeks. Because of the circumstances, the doctors opted to let Shaelee be born by emergency c-section. We were called at about 12:00 at night. We rushed to the hospital, missing the actual birth by a few minutes. From what I understand, Shaelee was born, and Scott held her and gave her a blessing and a name; Shaelee Louise. My dad, my older brother and Amber's male family members were all present for the blessing. Scott says Shaelee opened her eyes and looked up at him during the blessing. Then she quietly closed her eyes again. She never did open them again. She passed away about 2 hours later.
We all took turns holding her. She had such a sweetness about her that was testament to how close to God she was at that particular time. I could feel the presence of angels in the room, helping Shaelee make the transition back as well as comfort those of us left behind. To date, this is one of the most touching and spiritual experiences I have ever had.
The following days were a blur with the funeral services. I had a really hard time accepting this part of God's plan and felt a lot of survivor's guilt afterwards. Why was I given such a beautiful baby, but my twin brother wasn't. I struggled with these feelings for a long time. I was afraid that Josh would be a constant reminder of what my brother had lost.
We went camping as a family that summer and my sister-in-law asked if she could hold Josh. I was happy that she even wanted to. I watched as she lovingly stared into Josh's eyes and I could feel a little of her pain. How hard it must have been for her to sit back and watch while I fed and played with my baby.
It wasn't until my mom mentioned in passing one day that one of the things that helped Amber process her grief was being able to look at Josh and watch him grow up that I finally forgave myself, if you will, for having the healthy baby. I realized that it was part of God's plan and that Shaelee was needed for a more valiant mission.
It's hard to believe that it's been five years since Shaelee was born. I remember it like it was yesterday. I think about her a lot, though we don't talk about her much when we all get together. My brother and his wife have 3 healthy and amazingly beautiful daughters here on Earth and they steal center stage at our parties.
When Josh was a baby, he would lay in his crib and babble and point to the ceiling. I would like to think that he was talking to his good buddy Shaelee, telling her about his life here and listening to her catch him up on what was going on back home.
Scott casually mentioned that they had their ultrasound and it was another girl. And then there was a pause.
"There are some problems. We go back in to see exactly what tomorrow."
Having had a scare with Josh on his ultrasound and finding out everything was normal, I wasn't immediately panicked. Then Scott mentioned that the baby's head was misshaped and there were some other markers present that suggested dwarfism.
I was dumbfounded. I had never heard of someone being diagnosed with dwarfism in the womb, though, obviously, it must happen.
Over the next few weeks, we would learn the severity of Shaelee's condition. She wasn't going to survive and my brother and his wife had to make the difficult decision of deciding whether to continue on with the pregnancy or to terminate it. The decision came easily to them, though the journey was not. They bravely carried little Shaelee knowing full well that they would have to say goodbye to her shortly after her birth.
I remember thinking every time someone would ask me when I was due or what I was having or if we had chosen a name, how hard it must be to have to carry a baby knowing that it wasn't going to live and still have to answer those questions. You aren't going to tell the sweet grandma in the mall or the lady on the elevator the ordeal you're enduring.
I gave birth to Josh on April 25, and my brother and his family made the trek up to see us in the hospital. I could tell that the visit was hard but that they wanted me to know that they were genuinely happy for us.
A month later, Amber went into preterm labor at 32 weeks. Because of the circumstances, the doctors opted to let Shaelee be born by emergency c-section. We were called at about 12:00 at night. We rushed to the hospital, missing the actual birth by a few minutes. From what I understand, Shaelee was born, and Scott held her and gave her a blessing and a name; Shaelee Louise. My dad, my older brother and Amber's male family members were all present for the blessing. Scott says Shaelee opened her eyes and looked up at him during the blessing. Then she quietly closed her eyes again. She never did open them again. She passed away about 2 hours later.
We all took turns holding her. She had such a sweetness about her that was testament to how close to God she was at that particular time. I could feel the presence of angels in the room, helping Shaelee make the transition back as well as comfort those of us left behind. To date, this is one of the most touching and spiritual experiences I have ever had.
The following days were a blur with the funeral services. I had a really hard time accepting this part of God's plan and felt a lot of survivor's guilt afterwards. Why was I given such a beautiful baby, but my twin brother wasn't. I struggled with these feelings for a long time. I was afraid that Josh would be a constant reminder of what my brother had lost.
We went camping as a family that summer and my sister-in-law asked if she could hold Josh. I was happy that she even wanted to. I watched as she lovingly stared into Josh's eyes and I could feel a little of her pain. How hard it must have been for her to sit back and watch while I fed and played with my baby.
It wasn't until my mom mentioned in passing one day that one of the things that helped Amber process her grief was being able to look at Josh and watch him grow up that I finally forgave myself, if you will, for having the healthy baby. I realized that it was part of God's plan and that Shaelee was needed for a more valiant mission.
It's hard to believe that it's been five years since Shaelee was born. I remember it like it was yesterday. I think about her a lot, though we don't talk about her much when we all get together. My brother and his wife have 3 healthy and amazingly beautiful daughters here on Earth and they steal center stage at our parties.
When Josh was a baby, he would lay in his crib and babble and point to the ceiling. I would like to think that he was talking to his good buddy Shaelee, telling her about his life here and listening to her catch him up on what was going on back home.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Road Trip--Part 3 (Cows and Answered Prayers, For Real)
Day 3 Continued
We left Arches and Moab and headed on towards Ouray, Colorado--about 3 hours away. According to the map, we would be passing through a few towns, namely La Sal, Utah and Bedrock, Colorado. Not huge towns by the size of their font on the map, but they were on there.
And so we weren't overly concerned when we noticed the gas was a little low. Surely, there would be a gas station nearby.
Oh. There was. At a little place called Hole in the Rock (see Rules of the Road #1). But naturally, we didn't stop. If we would've stopped we would've missed the procession of Corvettes. It started with one and then when there was a bend in the road, we noticed 3 others. As we turned off to head towards La Sal, we noticed another 8 in front of the big truck that was blocking our view. 12 Corvettes in one sighting. Beat that.
700 cows beat that, actually, because before long we came upon a herd of cows.
In the middle of the road.
At some point they all decided to turn and move towards us.
As it turns out, one cow has an odor, but 700 cows REEK.
But they left us pretty much alone, save for a few nasty glares our way. And we continued on, noticing for the first time that our fuel light was on.
Good thing La Sal, Utah was right there.
However, it became very apparent within about 10 seconds of entering the town limits that we would not find a gas station there. How could we be so sure? Because 10 seconds after entering we were exiting out the other side. And headed up into the mountains.
It should be noted that Bedrock, Colorado is approximately the same size font as La Sal on the handy-dandy map my parents let us borrow. For those who haven't consulted a paper map since the invention of Google Maps, a map designates how big the city is by font size. La Sal and Bedrock might be the tiniest font used on a map. Something I noticed as I futilely searched for one smaller to give myself hope.
It was about this time that Wade and I came to a daunting realization. We were going to run out of gas. In the middle of nowhere with no cell service (like who were we going to call? Mom and dad to drive 4 hours south to bail us out?)
I spent the next8 hours 30 minutes in some quasi-reality, trying to decide what we should do when we run out of gas. Should I go off on foot and leave Wade with the kiddos and hope that some strange highway killer man doesn't get me, or should Wade go off on foot and leave me behind with the kiddos and hope that some highway killer man doesn't get me? Whatever the choice, it was a Dateline episode waiting to happen and it involved some highway killer man getting me. And a 13 mile walk one way. To a town that most likely didn't have gas.
We came upon a crossroads to another small town (same size font) that promised (at least one) bed and breakfasts. However, it was 3 miles off the highway. If we took the chance that there would be a gas station there and there wasn't, we might not have enough to get back to the highway. If we stayed on the highway we could potentially get the car a little closer to civilization.
(It should be noted that by this point, we had seen exactly one car and one motorcycle pass by).
The tension in the car was palpable as we coasted into Bedrock, Colorado. As before in it's Utah counterpart, La Sal, we were practically out of Bedrock before we knew what was happening. At the edge of town there was a general store on the side of the road that Wade pulled up to for the sole purpose of asking how far the nearest gas station was so we could mentally prepare ourselves for the task of hiking to it. As he pulled up to it, I spotted this on the side:
I'll admit, for a minute, I thought "what a cruel, cruel joke." But, giving credit where credit is due, I knew this was a direct answer to fervent prayers uttered in a constant stream for the last 30 minutes. I'm pretty sure the pump came directly from God. I ran inside to ask the General Store lady if it was indeed a working gas pump, and to my relief she said yes.
Insert BIG SIGH OF RELIEF here.
At a whooping $3.43/gallon (hey, we would've paid anything at that point), we stocked up with enough to get us to Ouray and we continued on our way, happy, relieved and more relaxed than I have ever been in my entire life. And my teeth had been ground down to a nice smooth surface, so bonus!
Is it possible to make the write up of our road trip longer than the trip itself? We shall see... Tune in tomorrow for Day 4--Tourist Alert
We left Arches and Moab and headed on towards Ouray, Colorado--about 3 hours away. According to the map, we would be passing through a few towns, namely La Sal, Utah and Bedrock, Colorado. Not huge towns by the size of their font on the map, but they were on there.
And so we weren't overly concerned when we noticed the gas was a little low. Surely, there would be a gas station nearby.
Oh. There was. At a little place called Hole in the Rock (see Rules of the Road #1). But naturally, we didn't stop. If we would've stopped we would've missed the procession of Corvettes. It started with one and then when there was a bend in the road, we noticed 3 others. As we turned off to head towards La Sal, we noticed another 8 in front of the big truck that was blocking our view. 12 Corvettes in one sighting. Beat that.
700 cows beat that, actually, because before long we came upon a herd of cows.
In the middle of the road.
At some point they all decided to turn and move towards us.
As it turns out, one cow has an odor, but 700 cows REEK.
But they left us pretty much alone, save for a few nasty glares our way. And we continued on, noticing for the first time that our fuel light was on.
Good thing La Sal, Utah was right there.
However, it became very apparent within about 10 seconds of entering the town limits that we would not find a gas station there. How could we be so sure? Because 10 seconds after entering we were exiting out the other side. And headed up into the mountains.
It should be noted that Bedrock, Colorado is approximately the same size font as La Sal on the handy-dandy map my parents let us borrow. For those who haven't consulted a paper map since the invention of Google Maps, a map designates how big the city is by font size. La Sal and Bedrock might be the tiniest font used on a map. Something I noticed as I futilely searched for one smaller to give myself hope.
It was about this time that Wade and I came to a daunting realization. We were going to run out of gas. In the middle of nowhere with no cell service (like who were we going to call? Mom and dad to drive 4 hours south to bail us out?)
I spent the next
We came upon a crossroads to another small town (same size font) that promised (at least one) bed and breakfasts. However, it was 3 miles off the highway. If we took the chance that there would be a gas station there and there wasn't, we might not have enough to get back to the highway. If we stayed on the highway we could potentially get the car a little closer to civilization.
(It should be noted that by this point, we had seen exactly one car and one motorcycle pass by).
The tension in the car was palpable as we coasted into Bedrock, Colorado. As before in it's Utah counterpart, La Sal, we were practically out of Bedrock before we knew what was happening. At the edge of town there was a general store on the side of the road that Wade pulled up to for the sole purpose of asking how far the nearest gas station was so we could mentally prepare ourselves for the task of hiking to it. As he pulled up to it, I spotted this on the side:
I'll admit, for a minute, I thought "what a cruel, cruel joke." But, giving credit where credit is due, I knew this was a direct answer to fervent prayers uttered in a constant stream for the last 30 minutes. I'm pretty sure the pump came directly from God. I ran inside to ask the General Store lady if it was indeed a working gas pump, and to my relief she said yes.
Insert BIG SIGH OF RELIEF here.
At a whooping $3.43/gallon (hey, we would've paid anything at that point), we stocked up with enough to get us to Ouray and we continued on our way, happy, relieved and more relaxed than I have ever been in my entire life. And my teeth had been ground down to a nice smooth surface, so bonus!
Is it possible to make the write up of our road trip longer than the trip itself? We shall see... Tune in tomorrow for Day 4--Tourist Alert
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