Hopes and Dreams for 2009

A new year often signals a rebirth of sorts. The opportunity to become someone different--someone better, wiser, healthier. January 1 is a blank slate. A clean canvas.

January 2 is marred by the mistakes you made on January 1. The old you--the-diet-coke-chugger-and-chocoholic that you threw out with the New Year's Eve trash the day before--rears it's ugly head, tempting you with unbelievable headaches and a short fuse. If you make it past January 2, you're halfway there.

Oh, and if you make it past the sleepless nights with a newborn and the frustration that often accompanies the first few months of nursing that make you want to give it all up and just bottle feed your crying baby and save your own tears for something worthwhile, and the three year old that is running a million miles a minute and never seems to stop.

So maybe for me, the halfway point will be closer to May or June.

But for all intents and purposes, let's just say that I've made it past January 2. And the caffeine withdrawal headache is just a dull ache that I only think about when it's quiet and since that doesn't really ever happen, it's not really there anymore, and the frantic need for one last bit of chocolate is diminishing so that I only think about it occassionally--like when it's not quiet and I want something to numb the noise.

The reality is that caffeine I can give up. I don't "need" my diet coke. I only want it. And if I'm strong enough and determined enough, I can give it up. Cold turkey. I can resist the temptation of the friend who kept a case for me in her fridge so I could sneak over there during the summer and enjoy an ice cold beverage. I can order something different at the restaurant. The ultimate goal is to give up carbonation all together. But, for now, I'm concentrating on caffeine. Baby steps.

Chocolate, though, is a completely different story. I could never give it up completely. What, with it's heart healthy benefits that have been touted recently in the news, it's almost a health food. However, moderation is key. Perhaps eating the equivalency of the weight of my newborn in chocolate in one week is a bit overboard. And chocolate milk has been proven to be as efficient as gatorade after a long workout. Bonus, since I don't like gatorade, but I do like chocolate milk.

However, these two vices are not my hopes and aspirations for 2009. They are just a means to getting to those hope and aspirations.

There are five things on my "list" I'd like to complete this year. I'm not going to reveal them right now because I don't want to jinx them. Just suffice to say that three of the five have to do with physical activity (surprise, surprise), one is a hobby of sorts, and one is spiritually based.

Other hopes and dreams include clocking a 25 minute 5k, running another marathon (hopefully the St. George), writing more, and cleaning out the house. I swear I clean out the house at least once a year. It's the one thing on my to-do list I have no desire to do, but I hate the feeling I have every time I open the pantry or the cupboard where the tupperware is stored (read: shoved) or open the closet door to find something to wear. Every year about this time, I start to feel trapped in my house and the walls are caving in. This year it's a little more extreme since we have 3000 square feet of stuff stuffed into 1500 square feet.

Good luck to all on their new year resolutions. May you make it past today, at least.