After nearly 10 years, I think I have finally found the key to a happy marriage.
Note: this is not to mean that our marriage hasn't been a happy one for the past 10 years. Just hear me out, okay?
And the best part was that Wade has been telling me this key for a lot of those years.
So what is this magical key?
Laundry.
Yes, laundry.
You see, I despise laundry. I hate it with every fiber of my being. I hate having to gather it and sort it and put it in the washer and then move it to the dryer and then remember to get it out before it wrinkles and then fold it and I ESPECIALLY hate putting it away.
And so with most things that I despised to the extent I do laundry, I would put it off. I had no problem with not doing laundry for an entire week because I wore the same uniform every day--a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Sometimes, the same pair of jeans for a few days in a row. I could go WEEKS without doing laundry.
But Wade, who actually mingles with people outside of the home on a daily basis for hours on end, could not go weeks without doing laundry. And this issue was becoming a sore spot in our marriage.
(I mean sore as in toilet-seat-up-or-down sore. It certainly wasn't going to lead us to the courthouse to have our union dissolved or anything. (At least I don't think it was)).
So the issue was that the laundry piles would be overflowing and I wouldn't do anything about it and then I'd feel guilty because I spent the entire day inside, not really doing anything so important that I couldn't have thrown a few loads in. When Wade would get home and notice the lack of clean clothes and mention it I would sorta fly off the handle like he was making me account for my every moment of the day. Or so I'd say loudly to him. And it was really that I felt so embarassed that I didn't do any laundry. Or dishes. Or pretty much anything except for play with the kids and write funny status updates on Facebook.
A few months ago, I read an article that was probably written for me. The writer is a lady that is starting in on that second life that we all young mothers dream of where all her kids are in school and the youngest is going to be at an age where she can tend herself and so the mom's responsibilities are different. She talked a little bit about what she wished she would have done differently in the earlier years. Foremost, she said that she wished that she would not have resented her husband so much for his seemingly unwillingness to help around the house when he got home from work.
Sound familiar to anyone else but me?
So it got me thinking. And that's never really a good idea. But it did. And I thought of all the times I have felt that I was doing so much at home without really any help. I mean, if Wade needed clean clothes why didn't he just put in a load himself?
This author said that she had made the decision to make her home and family her full-time job and that her hours were different from that of her husband's. He went to work at 8 and came home at 5, but he did not have the luxury of long lunches or playdates or movies at grandma's. When the kids were all in school, he didn't get to spend entire days doing things he wanted or going shopping. Her main point was that she really wished she would have looked at it like that instead of realizing it 20 years down the line.
And that really resonated. I get to stay home. I have very few places I have to be at a certain time. I get to hang with friends and eat out and take naps in the afternoons when A.'s asleep and J is playing on the computer. I don't even have to get dressed most days of the week. So the least I could do is to make the house somewhat livable and make sure Wade has clean clothes.
Wade has been telling me for years that I should just pick two days a week to do laundry on and then I wouldn't have to think about it any of the other five days. I resisted on the basis that I didn't want to be tied down to a "laundry" schedule. But, after reading this article and then sifting through the mound of clean clothes on the bed looking for my favorite t-shirt and not finding it, I decided to give it a shot.
And guess what? It's been a miracle. There are no more late nights where I have to stay awake to move work clothes to the dryer for Wade so they're dry in the morning. No more "do I have clothes for tomorrow" reminders. No more arguments. The clothes are easier to fold and put away when you're only doing a load at a time. And best of all, no more feeling guilty. Even if there is a day where I got nothing else done, I can say that at least there are clean clothes.
The other thing I've come to realize is that I really don't need 90% of the clothes I have. I don't ever wear them because all my favorites are clean. Think of the money savings this could have been if I would have adopted this years ago.
So that's the key. Laundry. If I would have known it would be so easy, I would have started when Wade first suggested it.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Book Review Sunday
Book: Heidi
Author: Johanna Spyri
Pages: 188
This is kind of a weird book review, but hear me out.
We read this for book club this last month and I'll admit I thought it was a little strange of a pick. I mean, we probably all read Heidi as little girls, but we're adult women now. Yet, I went along with it because that's kind of the point of book club--to read books we wouldn't otherwise read.
I did read this as a little girl and I remember loving it. I wanted to be like Heidi and live in the mountains.
As an adult some other things popped out. Like how Heidi's grandpa isn't as mean as everyone in the village thinks. And doesn't come across as mean as I think the author intended either. And the improbabilities of miraculous healings and the intentions of old men. I guess, as an adult I've kind of grown skeptical and untrusting.
But, this review isn't so much about Heidi itself. But rather, that every once in awhile, you should take yourself back to your childhood and pick up some of those great children classics like Heidi and The Secret Garden and The Little Prince and relive those innocent years where miracles happened and old men had no other intentions than to befriend everyone, including young girls. It's a welcome reprieve from the murder and mayhem and awfulness that fills the books and the airwaves today.
Author: Johanna Spyri
Pages: 188
This is kind of a weird book review, but hear me out.
We read this for book club this last month and I'll admit I thought it was a little strange of a pick. I mean, we probably all read Heidi as little girls, but we're adult women now. Yet, I went along with it because that's kind of the point of book club--to read books we wouldn't otherwise read.
I did read this as a little girl and I remember loving it. I wanted to be like Heidi and live in the mountains.
As an adult some other things popped out. Like how Heidi's grandpa isn't as mean as everyone in the village thinks. And doesn't come across as mean as I think the author intended either. And the improbabilities of miraculous healings and the intentions of old men. I guess, as an adult I've kind of grown skeptical and untrusting.
But, this review isn't so much about Heidi itself. But rather, that every once in awhile, you should take yourself back to your childhood and pick up some of those great children classics like Heidi and The Secret Garden and The Little Prince and relive those innocent years where miracles happened and old men had no other intentions than to befriend everyone, including young girls. It's a welcome reprieve from the murder and mayhem and awfulness that fills the books and the airwaves today.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Thankful Thursday
If you would have told me 15 years ago that I would be on a bowling league, and loving it, I would have laughed. I'm no pro by any stretch of the imagination. My average is 124, and that's a 15 point increase from when I started three years ago. But I really look forward to going every Thursday.
Yet, here I am, and I have to say I love it. My two teammates are in their 50's and 60's. Most of the ladies are stay-at-home moms, but we have a few who are retired or work part time. One gal my age has no kids, but made Thursdays her day off from work so she could bowl. I'm the on-call math tutor for about three teenagers who's moms are on the league and every once in a while one or two of them will skip out of school to hang out at the alley so I can help them in between frames. Crazy.
For $8.50 a week, I get three games and two hours where someone else watches A. It doesn't matter if you have one kid or three kids or no kids, it's $8.50 for everyone and someone comes in to watch the kids while the moms play. I told my teammates a few weeks ago that if something were to change economically in our household, bowling would be one of the last things I'd give up. It's something I do that is totally frivously for myself. It's completely selfish. There's no income potential. There's really no educational payout either. Just...bowling. It's something that gets me out of the house on those cold winter days where I just want to lay around and do nothing.
We only play during the school year and by the time May rolls around, I'm always ready to take a break, but during the winter I love having somewhere to go and play. So today, I'm thankful for bowling.
Yet, here I am, and I have to say I love it. My two teammates are in their 50's and 60's. Most of the ladies are stay-at-home moms, but we have a few who are retired or work part time. One gal my age has no kids, but made Thursdays her day off from work so she could bowl. I'm the on-call math tutor for about three teenagers who's moms are on the league and every once in a while one or two of them will skip out of school to hang out at the alley so I can help them in between frames. Crazy.
For $8.50 a week, I get three games and two hours where someone else watches A. It doesn't matter if you have one kid or three kids or no kids, it's $8.50 for everyone and someone comes in to watch the kids while the moms play. I told my teammates a few weeks ago that if something were to change economically in our household, bowling would be one of the last things I'd give up. It's something I do that is totally frivously for myself. It's completely selfish. There's no income potential. There's really no educational payout either. Just...bowling. It's something that gets me out of the house on those cold winter days where I just want to lay around and do nothing.
We only play during the school year and by the time May rolls around, I'm always ready to take a break, but during the winter I love having somewhere to go and play. So today, I'm thankful for bowling.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
What's For Dinner Wednesday--Brie and Apple Stuffed Chicken Breasts
Remember when you were first married and you would see recipes titled "Brie and Apple Stuffed Chicken Breasts" and you'd just skip over it because you knew it would be too complicated?
Oh, that was just me?
Hmmm...
So, anyways, I came across this recipe on Facebook from Sunflower Farmer's Market, my produce mecca, and thought it would be an awesome one to try.
And it was. Though, in hindsight, I should have done things a little differently. But more on that later.
So here's the recipe: (Note: this really isn't a recipe for the health conscious, though you could probably change it up some to make it healthier. I burned something like 1300 calories today exercising, so I figured I was entitled to a little fat in my dinner tonight).
4 Chicken breasts, skinless and boneless
1 small apple, cored and thinly sliced
4 T butter
1/2 tsp each, salt and pepper
1-2 T flour
4 slices Brie cheese
2 C apple cider
2 C chicken broth
*Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Warm 1 T butter in a large saute pan over medium-high heat. Add the apples and saute until softened. Set the saute pan aside. Tuck a slice of Brie and several slices of apple into the pocket on the underside of the chicken breasts between the breast and the tenderloin. Season the chicken with salt and pepper. Pat a little flour onto both sides of each chicken breast.
Not being very familiar with the anatomy of a chicken breast, I cut a slit into the fattest area of the chicken breast and put my goods there. However, in hindsight, maybe I should have inspected the breast more. I couldn't fit very much in the little slit I made.
*In the saute pan, warm 1 T butter over high heat. When the butter foams add the chicken breasts and brown them on both sides. Transfer the chickento a sheetpan, stuffed side down and put it into the oven for 12-14 minutes.
If I would have done as above, perhaps I would have understood the part about putting the chicken stuffed side down.
*While the chicken is cooking, make the sauce. Pour the cider and the broth into the saute pan and boil it over high heat until reduced to about 1 1/2 cup. Swirl in the remaining 2 T of butter . Season to taste with salt and pepper.
I would have preferred to have had a thicker sauce and rereading the recipe, I don't think I let enough boil off. And I omitted the last two tablespoons of butter.
Spoon sauce over the chicken breasts.
Despite all those things, it still turned out really well. I used a Rome Apple, and I think I would have chosen a different apple with a little more oomph to it. But for a recipe that sounds all gourmet-like and stuff and is sure to impress, it was easy peasy. On the table in 30ish minutes.
I served it with rice. It was going to be a risotto, but I ran out of energy and desire, so just plain rice. And sourdough bread, which will probably be my death. I LOVE sourdough bread. For dessert, we had blueberry cobler.
Oh. Yeah.
One of these days, I'm just going to pay homage to great desserts. And this will make it.
Nutrition for the chicken:
Calories: 465.7
Fat: 22.3
CHO: 2.4 g
Protein: 60.6 g (?)
Oh, that was just me?
Hmmm...
So, anyways, I came across this recipe on Facebook from Sunflower Farmer's Market, my produce mecca, and thought it would be an awesome one to try.
And it was. Though, in hindsight, I should have done things a little differently. But more on that later.
So here's the recipe: (Note: this really isn't a recipe for the health conscious, though you could probably change it up some to make it healthier. I burned something like 1300 calories today exercising, so I figured I was entitled to a little fat in my dinner tonight).
4 Chicken breasts, skinless and boneless
1 small apple, cored and thinly sliced
4 T butter
1/2 tsp each, salt and pepper
1-2 T flour
4 slices Brie cheese
2 C apple cider
2 C chicken broth
*Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Warm 1 T butter in a large saute pan over medium-high heat. Add the apples and saute until softened. Set the saute pan aside. Tuck a slice of Brie and several slices of apple into the pocket on the underside of the chicken breasts between the breast and the tenderloin. Season the chicken with salt and pepper. Pat a little flour onto both sides of each chicken breast.
Not being very familiar with the anatomy of a chicken breast, I cut a slit into the fattest area of the chicken breast and put my goods there. However, in hindsight, maybe I should have inspected the breast more. I couldn't fit very much in the little slit I made.
*In the saute pan, warm 1 T butter over high heat. When the butter foams add the chicken breasts and brown them on both sides. Transfer the chickento a sheetpan, stuffed side down and put it into the oven for 12-14 minutes.
If I would have done as above, perhaps I would have understood the part about putting the chicken stuffed side down.
*While the chicken is cooking, make the sauce. Pour the cider and the broth into the saute pan and boil it over high heat until reduced to about 1 1/2 cup. Swirl in the remaining 2 T of butter . Season to taste with salt and pepper.
I would have preferred to have had a thicker sauce and rereading the recipe, I don't think I let enough boil off. And I omitted the last two tablespoons of butter.
Spoon sauce over the chicken breasts.
Despite all those things, it still turned out really well. I used a Rome Apple, and I think I would have chosen a different apple with a little more oomph to it. But for a recipe that sounds all gourmet-like and stuff and is sure to impress, it was easy peasy. On the table in 30ish minutes.
I served it with rice. It was going to be a risotto, but I ran out of energy and desire, so just plain rice. And sourdough bread, which will probably be my death. I LOVE sourdough bread. For dessert, we had blueberry cobler.
Oh. Yeah.
One of these days, I'm just going to pay homage to great desserts. And this will make it.
Nutrition for the chicken:
Calories: 465.7
Fat: 22.3
CHO: 2.4 g
Protein: 60.6 g (?)
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Happenings
I'm in ADD mode right now, which means that I'm not really focusing on anything. It's a little scary because the last...29 years have been spent focusing on something. And right now...nada. No races. No school. No dreams to fulfill. Just...existing.
It's been kind of nice. I do what I want, when I want. Well, as long as it fits within my employers parameters. Those parameters can be a little stifling too. But I make do.
I finally went in to see a doctor yesterday about this persistant cough I've been dealing with for three weeks. I think he was very excited to see someone hacking up a lung because maybe it would spruce up his otherwise boring Sunday morning full of run-of-the-mill colds, flus, and pink eye. But I was only a disappointment. I could tell in how his voice fell when he said he thought it was only the beginning of either bronchitis or pneumonia.
Yeah, only.
But he gave me some antibiotics, so hopefully that will jumpstart me back on to the road of healthy.
And I'm really excited about this week's What's For Dinner Wednesday entry. I hope it turns out.
Plus I'm back to exercising on my usual routine, minus the swimming and running, so basically not my usual routine. But at least it's something. I've been reving up my punching bag routine and I have definitely felt the burn there. I've also been doing my Insanity DVDs and can almost make it through the warm up without stopping. I've been doing them off and on for about four months, and still haven't made it through the whole 60 day program. I figure once I can do the warm-ups without stopping, then it will be time to move on to the next month's routine. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to make it through the whole dvd without stopping. A few days a week I bike for 30 minutes or walk/run on the treadmill for 30 minutes. I've also been doing kettlebell exercises, which are an incredible way to scorch an insane amount of calories in a short amount of time.
zzzzzzz...huh, oh yeah, I was boring you all with my workout regimen....
Anyways, the point being that even though I haven't been running, I've certainly been filling the bucket with other stuff and it's been nice. Though, I do miss the stress release of running with my posse and venting my frustrations out loud instead of internalizing them.
J. has been sounding out hymns at church and even managed to sound out the word T-A-M-P-A-X on a box in the linen closet. Made my heart swell with pride, you know, after I adequately explained, without explaining, what it meant. I'll catch him reading books out loud when he should be sleeping, but how do you punish that? His creativity knows no bounds when it comes to Legos. This weekend, he and Wade fashioned a zip line that runs from the coat closet door to the food storage door at the bottom of the stairs using fishing line. Then he and his friends have been constructing robots and superheroes and rocket ships to send down the stairs. It's all very nice until I go to walk upstairs and about get my nose sheared off by the nearly invisible line. His teacher thinks he's a delight to have at school. He's becoming more of a delight at home. He's even tried new foods the last few weeks. Nothing that would amount to much nutritionally, but, it's a start. Life is definitely looking up on that front.
A. is a bubbly, happy two year old. She's so smart for someone who hardly talks. I gave her the silverware from the dishwasher the other day to put away, fully expecting to follow behind and rearrange her work, but she had successfully sorted out the forks, spoons and butter knives and put them all where they belonged. What a cutie! She wants to read so badly and whenever she sees the commercial for the product that promises your 3 year old will read, she points at it and says something akin to "mine". She'll sit in her crib and "read" until she falls asleep. I love that she holds full on conversations with us, including hand gestures and voice inflections, and we can't understand a word she's telling us, but she doesn't seem to care. As soon as my energy levels return and I'm over this nasty whateveritis, we're going to start potty training in full force. I figure if you can lead me to your changing table to change your pants, you can lead me to the bathroom so I don't have to wipe your bum. I was hoping that by leaving the potty set up, she would just get the hint like J. did, but so far that method hasn't been working.
I wish the two of them were getting along better, but they aren't. Some days are better than others, but I think once J. is in school full time, it won't be as bad because he won't be taking out his boredom on his little sister. I'm a little nervous about summer. I need to research things to do with them so that we aren't playing host to a multitude of little neighborhood boys who roam the streets during the endless summer months. Oh, and so they don't get bored and take out their frustrations on each other.
Life for Wade and me has been pretty status quo. Wade gets up, goes to work and comes home. I fill the day with cleaning, playing, reading, writing, and exercising. It hardly seems fair, right? But he does it all without complaining much, which is a good quality to have.
And that's what's going on in my neck of the woods.
It's been kind of nice. I do what I want, when I want. Well, as long as it fits within my employers parameters. Those parameters can be a little stifling too. But I make do.
I finally went in to see a doctor yesterday about this persistant cough I've been dealing with for three weeks. I think he was very excited to see someone hacking up a lung because maybe it would spruce up his otherwise boring Sunday morning full of run-of-the-mill colds, flus, and pink eye. But I was only a disappointment. I could tell in how his voice fell when he said he thought it was only the beginning of either bronchitis or pneumonia.
Yeah, only.
But he gave me some antibiotics, so hopefully that will jumpstart me back on to the road of healthy.
And I'm really excited about this week's What's For Dinner Wednesday entry. I hope it turns out.
Plus I'm back to exercising on my usual routine, minus the swimming and running, so basically not my usual routine. But at least it's something. I've been reving up my punching bag routine and I have definitely felt the burn there. I've also been doing my Insanity DVDs and can almost make it through the warm up without stopping. I've been doing them off and on for about four months, and still haven't made it through the whole 60 day program. I figure once I can do the warm-ups without stopping, then it will be time to move on to the next month's routine. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to make it through the whole dvd without stopping. A few days a week I bike for 30 minutes or walk/run on the treadmill for 30 minutes. I've also been doing kettlebell exercises, which are an incredible way to scorch an insane amount of calories in a short amount of time.
zzzzzzz...huh, oh yeah, I was boring you all with my workout regimen....
Anyways, the point being that even though I haven't been running, I've certainly been filling the bucket with other stuff and it's been nice. Though, I do miss the stress release of running with my posse and venting my frustrations out loud instead of internalizing them.
J. has been sounding out hymns at church and even managed to sound out the word T-A-M-P-A-X on a box in the linen closet. Made my heart swell with pride, you know, after I adequately explained, without explaining, what it meant. I'll catch him reading books out loud when he should be sleeping, but how do you punish that? His creativity knows no bounds when it comes to Legos. This weekend, he and Wade fashioned a zip line that runs from the coat closet door to the food storage door at the bottom of the stairs using fishing line. Then he and his friends have been constructing robots and superheroes and rocket ships to send down the stairs. It's all very nice until I go to walk upstairs and about get my nose sheared off by the nearly invisible line. His teacher thinks he's a delight to have at school. He's becoming more of a delight at home. He's even tried new foods the last few weeks. Nothing that would amount to much nutritionally, but, it's a start. Life is definitely looking up on that front.
A. is a bubbly, happy two year old. She's so smart for someone who hardly talks. I gave her the silverware from the dishwasher the other day to put away, fully expecting to follow behind and rearrange her work, but she had successfully sorted out the forks, spoons and butter knives and put them all where they belonged. What a cutie! She wants to read so badly and whenever she sees the commercial for the product that promises your 3 year old will read, she points at it and says something akin to "mine". She'll sit in her crib and "read" until she falls asleep. I love that she holds full on conversations with us, including hand gestures and voice inflections, and we can't understand a word she's telling us, but she doesn't seem to care. As soon as my energy levels return and I'm over this nasty whateveritis, we're going to start potty training in full force. I figure if you can lead me to your changing table to change your pants, you can lead me to the bathroom so I don't have to wipe your bum. I was hoping that by leaving the potty set up, she would just get the hint like J. did, but so far that method hasn't been working.
I wish the two of them were getting along better, but they aren't. Some days are better than others, but I think once J. is in school full time, it won't be as bad because he won't be taking out his boredom on his little sister. I'm a little nervous about summer. I need to research things to do with them so that we aren't playing host to a multitude of little neighborhood boys who roam the streets during the endless summer months. Oh, and so they don't get bored and take out their frustrations on each other.
Life for Wade and me has been pretty status quo. Wade gets up, goes to work and comes home. I fill the day with cleaning, playing, reading, writing, and exercising. It hardly seems fair, right? But he does it all without complaining much, which is a good quality to have.
And that's what's going on in my neck of the woods.
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