If I Were Running for President

I grew up in a very nonpolitical family. Politics were never discussed around the dinner table. I can't actually recall what was discussed, but apparently, nothing earth shattering. This all changed when I got married. I married into a very political family--well, more so I married a very political man. I was unaware of this--like BYU football--until after the vows were swapped. We dated through the 2000 election debacle (just like we dated through the 2000 football season), but I don't actually recall discussing anything about it (or BYU football) at length. In fact, I didn't even vote in 2000. Our dorm television was tuned to music videos most of the time and I paid very little attention to the political scene.

And then, seemingly overnight, it changed. All of a sudden, I care. And I'm debating my mom (my mom!) over lunch about who should and shouldn't be a leader. And I'm mad. Disappointed. Disgusted. If this is what politics is about, then I'm glad I didn't grow up in a political family. I'm glad I didn't have to listen to this for months on end every election season.

Here's how I see it: We have two men, neither one of them 100% capable of holding such a prestigious job as President of the US of A. The question at hand is to determine who would be the most capable of holding this esteemed position. So they talk. And talk. And talk some more. And some people really buy into the bs they're throwing out and others of us just shake our head. The reality is that neither man is going to be able to wave a magic stick and erase all the bad. On January 21, 2009, scores of military men and women will not be arriving back in the states, the War on Terror over. On January 21, 2009, Wall Street will not arise from the depths of despair and resume it's once all-powerful hold on the economy. Houses will not begin to sell. Unemployment will not be nullified. Health care will not be available to every man, woman and child.

So, as long as Obama and McCain are talking, I'm going to talk too. Here's a list of things I'd do if I were running for President:

• Propose a flat tax system. Every working person--whether they are documented or undocumented workers--should have a percentage of their pay deducted for federal income tax. As long as you are living here, using our resources, you should have to pay something into the system. I'm all for programs that help out the disadvantaged and poor--welfare, housing authority, etc. But not as a long-term solution that I'm paying for out of my pocket while someone else is reaping the benefits. Nearly 40% of the nation pays zero federal income tax. How do we ever expect to get ahead, fiscally, if only 60% of the country is feeding into the tax pool. Refunds are great, but I'd rather have the money now. So a flat tax across the board. The number one rule for saving is to pay yourself first.
• No negative campaigning. If I were running for president I would address NO rumors, allegations, allegiances, etc. Nor would I drag that in on my opponent. The race should be fought on issues and issues alone. I don't have anything to hide, and if I did, I would put it out there before the start of campaigning season so it was no surprise. I'm not going to spend my campaign dollars on wasted breath in defending my family, friendships, religion, yada, yada, yada. I'm tired of the mud-slinging, backlashing, petty campaign manuevers that have been implemented--on both sides--the last few elections.
• I'd wear jeans. And a nice shirt--on occasion. Maybe dress up for the big events. But, if I'm of the people, I should probably dress like the people. And maybe I'll be a big star on SNL where they'll poke fun of my clothing. But most likely, people will feel that they can actually relate to this person.
• I'd translate all that jargon into something that the normal person could understand. Here are my views on all the issues, in easy to understand language. Take them or leave them. I won't skew my words to attract the most voters. I won't flipflop without a good reason. But I won't promise I won't flipflop. Views can be changed. I respect that. As long as you have a good reason.
• I'm not going to stand up there and tell you the things you want to hear in hopes that it would get me elected and then shrug my shoulders when asked--3 years later--what promises I've kept. We've all been around long enough to know that nothing is really going to change, despite who gets elected.

Clearly, there's a reason I'm not in the running for President of the United States, but I sure wish someone with a backbone was.

Book Review Friday 10/24/08

Book: Three Cups of Tea: One Man's Mission to Promote Peace One School at a Time
Author: Greg Mortenson
Pages: 313

I'm not well versed in Middle Eastern Studies. All those -stan countries get mixed up in my brain. And admittedly, I'm not as passionate about the war as maybe I should be. The reasons are varied and too much to go into here. In any case, I do sorta cringe when I read the synopsis of a book that centers around the Middle East. I guess it's just not my thing.

But, in an attempt to broaden my horizons, I gave this book a chance. I didn't seem to be full of the politics that swamp other books about the Middle East and I had heard good things about it so I gave it a whirl.

It turned out to be a really educating, amazing story of one ordinary guy who is trying to help the world.

Greg Mortenson, a mountaineer and nurse from California, was attempting to scale K2 in Pakistan in the summer of 1996. Unable to summit, he turned around and began the long descent back down. He lost sight of his hiking buddy and his porter (the local guy he had hired at the base camp to ferry his bag for him). Eventually, he was forced to spend a night on the mountain, out in the elements. When he came to in the morning, he started walking again and found his porter, safe and sound. Following his porter down the mountainside, he missed a yak-hair bridge, instead turning to the left and ended up in a little remote village of Pakistan that had never seen a foreigner pass it's gates.

Nursed back to health by the local leader and his family--and reunited with his bags, Mortenson soon became one of the tribe. Upon seeing the condition of the local village school, Mortenson vowed to return to the states and raise money for a school.

Mortenson scrimped, saved and tried to raise funds to help build a school in this remote Pakistani village. Finally securing some funds, he traveled back and entered into a culture that--though painted after 9/11 as an American-hating, religious fanatical sect of humanity--welcomed Mortenson, more or less, as one of their own.

Crippled by cultural differences and altering ways-of-life, Mortenson is nonetheless able to bring to this tiny village the very necessities it needs to sustain life in this oft-forgotten place. He gained a reputation that went a long way after 9/11 to help foster peace among the people of the Middle East and Americans. Mortenson has gone on to help build more than 50 schools in neighboring villages in Pakistan as well as water facilities and has even branched into Afghanistan.

What I liked about the book was that it painted a completely different picture of the region then what the media does. There's no extreme--Not everyone hates Americans and not everyone is happy we're there. There are plenty of people who just want to be able to feed their families and keep them safe. And while every religion has their zealots, the majority of the Muslim people reach out to those that need them, sometimes using their last morsel of food or drink to sate those that need it more. In short, they aren't all that different then us. Just a slower, different way of life. But, that, of course would make for a boring newscast and so this book is a reminder that we need to delve deeper into this area to really understand what's going on and not to rely on just media coverage.

Though, reading between the lines, you can picture Mortenson being beyond obsessed with this passion and driving his family insane, you can also sense that this is where he's suppose to be. This is his mission on the planet. And unlike many, he's making the most of the time he has here to make the world just a bit better. Not by imposing his viewpoints or his ways on others, but by giving them the resources to expand their lives themselves.

Indeed, one person truly can change the world.

The Halloween Miracle

Last year, we got Josh a cute dinosaur costume for Halloween. He loved it. He wore it out the store (the cashier just ran him over the scanner) and then for weeks afterwards, would put it on-extending Halloween well into December. The year before last, we had gotten an Incredibles outfit that he outgrew in the month between the purchase and Halloween and we didn't want to fall victim to that again (though the pictures are adorable of him with his too snug of an outfit and highwater pants. True superhero style), so we bought the costume a bit large so he could wear again this year.

A few weeks ago, we asked him what he wanted to be for Halloween. He happily replied dinosaur and both Wade and I silently high-fived each other. It was another case of "this parenting thing is a lot easier than we thought".

However...

This week, I asked Josh to tell Grandma what he was going to be for Halloween. A quiet little voice in the back of the car piped up: "elephant". What??? An Elephant? I racked my brain, trying to remember the last time I'd seen an elephant on Halloween. I think the correct answer is never. But what would I be if I didn't at least try...

Try to convince Josh that he wanted to be a dinosaur instead.

Try to convince Josh that his dinosaur costume was merely a prehistoric elephant.

Try to find an elephant nose to supplement the (now) subpar "prehistoric elephant" costume.

Try to ignore the voice in the backseat of the car.

Sigh.

Try to find an elephant costume at the store. Or at least a gray sweatsuit that could be altered--with much time and talent--into an elephant. So basically, try to find an elephant costume at the store.

So today, I set out on the important task of finding an elephant costume. I was only going to go to four stores. My big-box rating system goes something like this: From least liked to most liked based on quality and availability of clothing and how clean the store is.

(I'm not that hard to impress--as will become evident in a moment.)

K-Mart
Shopko
Walmart
Target

My plan was to hit these four big-box stores in a futile attempt at locating an elephant. Then gently letting my 3 year old experience the bitter feeling of disappointment when he had to dress up like a dinosaur--excuse me, prehistoric elephant. Maybe by October 31st everything would be okay.

First up, K-mart. Not my favorite place to shop. I was already tired and was not looking forward to marching through the stores in search of an elusive elephant costume. But here I was.

The costume aisle was jammed with every possible costume you could think of (and some you couldn't think of) and as I half-heartedly thumbed through them, my hopes dashing with each costume I flipped through, I came across a sickly gray medium-sized child's costume of...

AN ELEPHANT!

Though not the most attractive elephant costume I have ever seen. For $15 it was mine. And I wasn't going to complain. There were only two elephants to be seen. And the size was perfect. Desperate to share my good fortune with anybody, I called Wade on the phone.

<>You'll never guess what I found.
<>What?
<>An elephant costume.
<>But he already has a costume
<>He is flat out refusing to be a dinosaur
<>But it fits. Tell him to be a dinosaur
Yeah, like after stuffing Josh into the elephant costume I was ever going to be able to get him back out.
<>It's $15. And I'm too tired to fight the fight. You should see how excited he is.
Not to mention how excited I am.
<>Okay.

Clearly, Wade missed the grandeur of the moment. The moment when my prayers were heard by a higher power and an elephant costume was located at the first store I stopped at. In the right size. For a decent price. I couldn't have made an elephant costume for $15. We promptly paid (now, too large to be scanned, we ripped the barcode off of Josh) and walked out the store. Grandma, mom and one happy elephant.

I would rank this moment up with the moment I crossed the marathon finish line. But that would be silly--it's only a costume after all. But, it's a close second. My only hope is that as life goes on, I will find other exciting moments in my life to knock this one down a few notches so I don't appear as pathetic.

But, in any case, it's a moment I'm sure I'll look back on as the years go by, when I'm out trying to locate that ever elusive halloween costume. One cannot expect a Halloween miracle every year. This year, my stars were aligned and I benefited greatly from the Halloween miracle.

Day 12 and Counting

12 days ago, a cold and blistery Saturday, I awoke, happy and carefree. About 3 pm, I felt a sudden pain in my ear and begun a very costly, and discouraging, battle with an ear infection. For the record, I have had one (1) ear infection in the last 15 or so years. Last December. Other than that, my ears have been healthy and clean.

Sunday morning, 6 am, after having tossed and turned most of the night, I got up, got dressed and made my way to Walmart for some hydrogen peroxide. Having heard of it's usefulness in the ear department, I was going to bet all my eggs that this simple at-home remedy would make me feel better.

Sunday night, I felt no better. But I did manage to go to sleep. Come Monday, my ear was feeling quite a bit better and in good time. I had a doctor's appointment scheduled for baby on Tuesday. I would just ask her, right?

Tuesday, the OB knew even less than I did, but gave me a prescription for ear drops that the computer said might work. My ear was a lot less painful, so I didn't fill it right away.

I awoke Wednesday with a plugged ear. You know the feeling? Where you've just stepped out of the swimming pool and all the water is still stuck in your ear. Annoying as all get out. Wednesday night might've been the worst night I've spent in a long time. I couldn't get comfortable (thanks to the watermelon strapped to my stomach and the aching ear) and I was going crazy. First thing Thursday morning, I told Wade I'm going into whatever doctor agrees to see me the soonest. I called around, and ended up at InstaCare.

The doctor who saw me sounded sicker than me. He kept sniffling and coughing and I couldn't help but think "um...maybe you should up here getting checked out instead of me." But he prescribed me different ear drops that would supposedly be better than the prescription the OB gave me two days earlier. Better and more expensive. Bonus.

So, I adhered to the rules of the prescription, dropping them into my affected ear twice a day for 5 days. Nada. In fact, the clogging only got worse. I was now $55 poorer for having visited InstaCare because I was going to have to get antibiotics. I called InstaCare to see if I would have to pay the $30 co-pay again if I came in and got antibiotics for the same thing they were suppose to have cleared up the first time I came in. A stunned "yes" was my answer. Of course I'd have to pay another $30 for them to give me what they should've given me in the first place...it was their God-given right to charge me again to see the same problem. They were InstaCare afterall.

So Monday, I called my doctor's office and got the earliest appointment, Tuesday. The good news is that the pain has gone away, but I can hardly hear anything out of my left ear. It's a little problematic, not to mention irritating.

Tuesday morning I go in and get my antibiotic (thank you!) and then I'm told that I'm also suffering from asthma. (I was diagnosed with exercise-induced asthma years ago, but seeing as I'm not currently exercising--because of the ear infection--I haven't been taking my inhaler. Apparently, when you're sick and an asthmatic, you tend to lose 20% of your air intake. I mentioned that maybe the watermelon strapped to my belly was the culprit, but the doctor dismissed my theory. What do I know? I'm still working on my math degree and it's been 10 years since I graduated from high school.)

The silver lining in the cloud is that since my hearing is considerably diminished, Barney isn't as annoying when played at the highest volume. Nor is Josh, who insists on talking nonstop all day long--whether it's to me or the cats or himself. Sometimes, it's quiet, but most of the time, he's making up songs or whining. But when you can't hear out of one ear, it's all a little muffled.

So, today, I woke up and took my cocktail of pills and antidotes to the pills (2 cups of yogurt a day to ward off the pending yeast infection caused by the antibiotics). Oh, and the other ear...it's starting to hurt now.

Great.

Book Review Friday 10/17/08

Book: The Host
Author: Stephenie Meyer
Pages: 623

Possible Spoiler Alert. If you haven't read the book, and think you will, stop now.




So, I thought I gave the book a fair chance. I rested between Breaking Dawn and The Host so I wouldn't fall into the same trap that many other people did...comparing the two. It sat on my bedside table for a week before I picked it up, so I wasn't overly anxious to read it the minute my number came up at the library. However...

Overall, I didn't find it to be that different from the Twilight Series, though it's billed as Meyer's first adult novel. The emotions were all the same...adolescent whining about how something/someone was going to kill the main character. Predictable love. Happy endings. Blah, blah, blah.

Aliens, called souls, have taken over the galaxy, including earth, infusing themselves within each planet's main lifeform to create a happier, healthier, more peaceful life. It's at the end of the Earth's takeover when Wanderer is paired with Melanie, a rebel human brought back from an unsuccessful suicide attempt. Wanderer is met with a force within Melanie that won't allow complete takeover and the two "beings" compromise by trying to live with each other. Melanie is essentially a prisoner within her mind, while Wanderer controls all outward appearances.

Constant thoughts of the life Melanie left behind eventually drags Wanderer to a secret place where 30ish other humans are hiding out, including her love interest, Jared, and her brother, Jamie.

Bucking the clan-happy tradition of the usual souls, Wanderer leaves her world behind and becomes part of the human existence, amidst hostile feelings and actions by other humans who see her as a spy for the souls.

The premise of the book was great. A fresh outlook on an old idea--aliens overtaking humans. However, Meyer's falls short in a few key areas. Notably, she reduces the multitude of human emotions to three: love, hate, and jealousy. Humans were painted as being incredible violent, even in a setting where presumably, only 30 of them are left on the planet.

Also, I had some reservations about the book after finishing. For example, many of the people in the cave had paired off. However, death still overcame the clan. No one was exempt from the normal process of aging. So, why were there no initiatives to procreate. I would imagine that if only 30 people were left on the planet, many would find the need to add more offspring to the population. Eventually, without the births of other humans, this clan will eventually die off and there would be no human left.

Secondly, their diet. The book touched on what the humans ate most of the time, once the food from their raids was out. However, much time was spent cultivating a garden in the cave where corn, wheat (presumably for their neverending supply of bread), fruits and vegetables grew. But every day they ate the same thing...bread and onion soup.

Lastly, the ending. I hated it. It was too sugar-coated. Much like the ending in Breaking Dawn. I knew it was going to happen about half way through the book, but there was nothing I could do about it.

My opinon is that if Meyer wants to be taken as a serious author down the line, she's going to have to incorporate some real tragedy in her books. Otherwise, she will fall by the wayside when each book ends the same.

So my overall impression: Eh. It was an okay read. Intriguing in some parts, but certainly not anywhere close to the best book I've read this year. Or this month even.

Things that Make You Go Hmmmm

• I've been battling a raging ear infection since Saturday. It came on very quickly with none of the preceding factors usually associated with ear infections: runny noses, sore throats, achy joints. One minute I was fine. The next, my ear was throbbing. Sunday morning, I awoke after a very fitful night of rest and made my way to Wal-mart (note to self: need to do shopping at 6 am. Store is empty of idiots and cashiers seem smarter) to buy some hydrogen peroxide to ease the pain. The pain was lifted for a while, but of course I was too sick to go to church, so I had to stay home, in bed, while Wade and Josh went. Luckily, I wasn't too sick to enjoy dinner at the in-laws. The best of both worlds. In any case, I was holding out going to the doctor's until today, because I already had a regularly scheduled appointment with the OB and I figured if I needed antibiotics, she'd be able to write me a prescription and I'd save my $40 InstaCare co-pay. I researched some more on the internet and found vinegar to also be a viable remedy. The pain has subsided quite a bit and the ear is only a little tender. However, while at the doctor's office today, I did ask her about it. Her response--and in her defense, she is a OB/GYN and not a family practitioner--was to get on the internet and look up ear infections...like I did on Saturday. We came to the same conclusion that vinegar would be the best solution to my ailment. And that, my friends, is why I have resorted to using the internet as my primary care physician unless (a) I need help extracting something out of my body (b) I'm bleeding (c) the internet tells me to go straight to the emergency room. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200 (one has to be careful when abiding by this rule because if you search hard enough every symptom will have at least one posting urging you to call 911).

(as a sidenote, I would like the record to show that I would never resort to using the internet as my child's preferred physician. If it were Josh in agony with an earache on Saturday night, I would've gladly given my left leg (I need the right one to drive) to have his pain eased by caring and loving doctors at the InstaCare 40 minutes from home and I even would've waited in line at the Walgreen's pharamacy to have his prescription filled before heading back home.)

• When researching viable remedies to common ailments, there are a lot of forums to wade through. Clearly it would be optimal if there was a website that was backed by the AMA listing at-home remedies that actually worked, but I see the illogicities in this. Who would fill the emergency rooms and doctor offices? However, when a question is posted such as "Does anyone know if __________ will help my _________?" It doesn't help anyone--poster, researcher, medical student--if you respond by saying: "I don't know. I've never tried it." Do we care that 1.5 billion people have never heard of this particular remedy before? Do we care that YOU haven't tried it? No! We don't. We only care about those people who have tried it and whether it failed for them or not. Who are these people that have the time to troll sites and insert that they haven't tried a particular solution?
• There needs to be a revamp in how elections are run here in the United States. There should be some other requirements besides being a U.S. citizen and over the age of 18. Maybe that you can match the name of the candidate with their picture. Or that you know the capital of your home state. Something to weed out the truly moronic people from upsetting the balance.
• Speaking of election time--and I could wax on and on about this, so I'll try to keep it short--just because you get paid an obscene amount of money to act like someone/something else doesn't give you the credentials to be stumping for either side of the fence. I know no more about you then my neighbor, but at least he has something intelligent to say. I'm not paying $8 for a movie ticket because I care about your political views. You aren't paying me because you like mine. So let's keep it that way. You do your job and I'll do mine and we'll both do our research and vote for the candidate that we feel represents us the best. Go Mickey Mouse!
• Next football season, we are so getting cable!

Book Review Friday 10/10/08

Book: The Zookeeper's Wife: A War Story
Author: Diane Ackerman
Pages: 323

This book took me a long time to get into. I briefly flirted with the ideas of giving up on it, but deep inside I felt guilty. Someone was trying to tell the story of this incredible couple, who risked so much to save over 300 people in World War II Poland, and the least I could do was finish their tale.

In that respect, I greatly admire the Zabrinki's, who opened their defunct zoo to the Underground revolution to house Polish Jews on the run. Their courage and bravery is a testament to us all that there is indeed something that we can do to make the world a better place.

I found it fascinating to read about the daily workings of the Warsaw Zoo pre-war and how it changed so drastically during the early years of the German Occupation. They opened their home to injured animals, often intermingling species in their manor to nurse them back to health. During the early part of the war, many of their beloved animals were taken, killed, or escaped.

While the Zabrinki's were not Jewish, they were Polish--another entry on Hitler's inferiority list. And so it was imperative that they keep a low profile as well, not drawing attention to their involvement in the dangerous Underground that tried to free as many Jews as possible using a variety of means, including forging papers, documents, passes and teaching Jewish people how to "act" Aryan if they had the Aryan look about them.

They estimated that nearly 300 people made their way to the zoo over the course of the war where they found shelter, food, and a semblance of normal life underway. While it was dangerous to stay too long and so many would only stay a night or so while other provisions were secured, some came to stay for extended times.

Overall, the book would've been an incredible read if it wasn't so wordy. It was hard to wade through all the words to get to the gist of the story. Taking most of the tale from writings of Antonina, the zookeeper's wife, as well as a few personal interviews, Ackerman reminds the reader constantly that maybe this happened, or maybe that happened, but that there's no concrete proof that it happened that way. It was a little annoying at times. However, once I could immerse myself in the story, it was a good read.