All By Myself

As wife of the scoutmaster, I spend approximately one Friday night-Saturday day a month alone. This was the case this weekend. Usually, I'll take the kids up to my mom's and spend the night there, but because of Fathers and Sons last weekend and a scheduled 5k I ran last Saturday, I spent last weekend at my parents so they could watch the baby while I ran. And so this weekend I opted to stay home.

After drugging Josh so he'd fall asleep at 5:30...uh, I mean...

Kidding. I didn't drug him. But he really did fall asleep at 5:30. It was like a little mini vacation for me. I thought for sure he'd wake up at 8:30 with a second wind, but he didn't. And so I spent the evening watching all the shows on TiVo that aren't scary or creepy. I can't watch 48 Hours Mystery or most Datelines when Wade isn't home because I'm a wuss. So, after catching up on So You Think You Can Dance and a few sitcoms, I had effectively run through my TiVo.

And then I spent the next few hours(!) waching Whose Line is it Anyway on Youtube. I had forgotten how much I LOVED this show. It was set up as an improv comedy show with four comedians. They'd do little sketches that always bordered on strange and maybe a little inappropriate, but the result was almost always hilarious. I'm not sure why it went off the air because I'd still be a faithful watcher if it was still on. I love stand up and improv comedy. I'd put a clip up here, but I don't want to be responsible for what some may deem as "inappropriate content" though it was aired on ABC, and so if you're interested in seeing clips, you'll have to go to Youtube yourself. So ha.

I forced myself to turn it off at about 11 pm and read for 15 minutes before crashing. I was actually going to bed earlier than I have for almost 2 months, despite my 6:30 am running dates--I'm definitely a night person. I didn't wake up until I heard the baby wiggling around in her bed at about 8. Josh didn't wake up until 8:30.

All in all, it was a good night and gearing up to be a pretty good day, if you're partial to Portland, Oregon and it's weather. Which, incidently, is making me feel a little waterlogged.

Locked Out

This afternoon found me fruitlessly trying to open my locked doors to the house. As it so happens, I went out one door, locking it behind me, while Josh went out another door, locking it behind him, my keys sitting innocently on the piano. My neighbor and I employed a variety of techniques to break in to my house, to no avail. Credit cards, bobby pins, butter knives. I even made the comment that if, for some reason, the police had reason to come to my home and check out my doors for forced entry, they'd be surprised. And it could throw them off the whole search for my kidnapper/killer/alien abductor.

Uh...perhaps I've been watching too many 48 Hours Mysteries again.

After the construction workers were done with the basement, we secured all the windows so they're near impossible to get in through, so that option went--literally--out the window. There was not a single cracked window or anything to gain access through. It looked like I was stuck.

I couldn't get a hold of Wade because he was in an important meeting. And Aunika was getting hungry so I had to secure a bottle and some formula for her.

After several phone calls using the neighbors phone, I did manage to find both a bottle and some formula. So the baby didn't starve. Because she sure looks like she's about to, doesn't she? And a diaper, because hers was pretty soggy around the edges. And then my kind neighbor allowed Aunika to sleep in a playpen in her living room for most of the afternoon.

Josh went off to play with his buddy next door and I had several offers of people opening their homes to me. But I felt kind of weird. Hanging out for hours on end in someone's house while they're trying to get stuff done. So I pulled weeds from the lawn. I've been meaning to do it, but I've always found something better to do. Like laundry. Or mopping. Or vacuuming. But now, in the absence of anything else to do, I found the time to pull the weeds from the lawn. I even got carried away and started attacking the next door neighbors weeds--until their rose bush started fighting back. Then I figured I wasn't getting paid enough to continue.

And then it rained. So the lawn didn't get mowed and the rest of the weeds didn't get pulled. And I ended up at the neighbor's house anyways. Waiting until Wade got home from work.

I didn't eat lunch and I was pretty hungry and I'm sure someone would've fed me but I felt dumb asking "hey, can I eat your food too?" I'm definitely in no risk of starving to death in five hours. So I kept my mouth shut.

My neighbor's husband came home from work, walked across the street to my house, and with one fell swoop, managed to break into my home. That's reassuring, isn't it? I could've used him about 5 hours earlier, but at least I was in.

A Budding Picasso

Josh has really started mastering his drawing skills. Here are a few examples:


This is Josh smiling.



This is Josh with Baby Jesus.

This is Josh with Mommy. Can you see where he got his good looks from?

This is Mommy and Daddy. Hmm.

This is a lovely portrait of our family. There's definitely a family resemblence going on.

This is an even more evolved portrait of our family. At least we have hair (well, most of us anyways) in this one. From left to right, it's Josh, Dad, Mom, and Aunika. Even Aunika, who has no hair in real life, has wisps of hair in this picture. Mom, however, is bald. We're standing on the sidewalk out by the front lawn.

What do you think? Should I enroll him in art classes?

Weekend in Review

• I put down our deposit for our carpet for the basement. The basement is becoming (albeit, slowly) so much cooler than the top floor. We may rent out the top floor and move into the basement. Our new goal is to have it finished by the start of football season.
• I ran a 5k on Saturday morning. The start time was 7 am and Wade was gone to Fathers and Sons with Josh. So I spent the night at my mom's so she could watch Aunika. I had to leave her house at 5:45 to make it to the race at 6:30 to warm-up. By the time the race started, I had been up for nearly 2 hours already. I'm not really a morning person, so this was a feat unto itself. I ran it pretty well, finishing in 29:22, my fastest time yet since the marathon in 2007 and under my goal of 30 minutes.
• Saturday afternoon, we finally made it to Lagoon. I LOVE rollercoasters and this was my Mother's Day present. We quickly found out that (a) Lagoon is the hotspot for a subculture of androgonous teenagers, and while Disneyland may be the happiest place on Earth, Lagoon may take the prize for being the scuzziest place on Earth (b) said teenagers looked (well, glared) at us like we were at least 35 and "totally clueless", infringing on their dour and apathetic times at Lagoon and (c) we might actually be bordering on too old. We got there at roughly 3:30 and by 10:00, we were done. In fact, I had to ride the last two rides by myself because Wade couldn't even make himself go on another rollercoaster. It was the best present though. A few hours without the kids, riding rollercoasters. We picked the kids up from Wade's parent's house, and after I had to drive home because Wade was too motion sick to drive, we put the (sleeping) kids into their beds, climbed into ours and were out roughly three minutes after walking through the door. There was a time when I could spend all day at Lagoon and turn around and go out all evening with friends. In fact, I could spend all day at Lagoon, go out all evening with friends and then turn around and do it all again the next day on a bounceback special. Ah...those were the days.
• Church was pretty ho-hum until the bishop, upon announcing his wife as the new 2nd counselor in the relief society, mock opposed her in sacrament meeting. Classic. I'm not sure that the member of the Stake Presidency sitting behind thought it was nearly as funny as the rest of us did. If you can't have a little fun, than it's not worth going to church, is it?

THAT Kid

My mom has a friend that's been a kindergarten teacher for close to 40 years. She said that the hardest part about each new kindergarten class is that you have to teach them not to run home when something happens that they don't like, or when they're scared, or hurt, or bored, or have to use the bathroom. I use to laugh when she'd tell me this because I could just imagine these little five year olds sprinting through the hole in the chainlink fence that surrounds the elementary school as soon as the teacher's back was turned.

Now I don't have to imagine it, I can experience it, because I have sired THAT kid. The one that runs home when something happens he doesn't like, or he's scared, or he has to use the bathroom. Or just because.

Allow me to explain.

Josh has made good friends with two little boys that live next door. One is three and the other one is six. While he's closer in age to the three year old, his playing level is more on line with the six year old. Which is good, because it's teaching Josh how to play at a more mature level.

But they're over here A LOT. Last summer, when I was pregnant and all I wanted to do was sleep and not entertain other people's kids, I was a little bitter about Joshie's friend (a different one that has since moved) that seemed to be over a lot. This year though, now that I'm not so tired, I realize that having someone here to entertain Josh is a blessing. But, I can sometimes get tired of the noise. And I think Josh's friend wants to play over at his house at times. And the neighbor feels kind of bad that they spend so much time over here. So I try to encourage Josh to go over there. But every time they go over there, something scares Josh or something happens he doesn't like and so they all come running back over.

Now, those who have kids understand that when you add a third person to the mix, it messes up the equilibrium. It's hard to incorporate the third person into any game you're playing. And so essentially, I also have the neighbor's three year old that comes over and plays with Josh's toys. By himself. Which is okay. Because he's quite good at playing by himself. When he gets hungry, he escapes to the backyard, climbs over the fence, grabs food from his house, climbs back over and lets himself back in through the back door. And sits on my couch to eat it. We will have to work on that...

My only complaint, besides that Josh needs to learn to play at other people's homes, is that I sometimes don't get a shower in before they come over to play. And I certainly don't feel comfortable showering with them all hanging around. Even if I do lock the door, because what if there's an accident, or the mom shows up and thinks I'm neglecting her children (hmmm...which begs another question that I'll leave unasked and unanswered) and so there have been times that I've had to send them home for the sole purpose of me having to shower because I could no longer stand the smell of my five mile run from 6:30 that morning.

I'm reminded of a time at church when a little five year old took off for home because he couldn't find his mom. He had made it across the busy highway and was about 1/2 mile down the road when someone finally found him.

Yeah, that will be my kid.

Three for Three and 75 Cents Richer

I gave my third speech this evening in Toastmasters. I'm still a little (read: horrifically) nervous each time I stand up to give a speech, though I seem to be able to calm down during it. Part of the problem is that I'm clearly the youngest one there. I'm scared that what I'm trying to say won't come across nearly as packaged as it is in my head. Or I'll sound stupid. Or I'll sound like a young idiot. You know, the usual fare. Tonight, my feet were awfully sweaty in my kick-butt red patent leather high heels (don't ask) and I was sure I was going to careen right into the world's smartest cab driver, Ross, who incidently commented on my kick-butt red patent leather high heels, when I walked in earlier.

Tonight, my speech was titled Live, Laugh, Love; What I've Learned in the Last 10 Years. Coincidently, today marks 10 years since I graduated from high school. 10 years! I thought I was only 21 years old.

I decided to do a mock graduation speech. I addressed everyone as though we were in an auditorium and made it an inspirational, sappy speech. Part of my intent was to do a speech that didn't rely a lot on humor, since that's what I tend to fall back on when I'm nervous. It's good to be well-rounded and not feel the need to make jokes during EVERY speech. I think I accomplished that goal pretty well.

I doned my graduation cap that I dug out of the very bottom box in the closet. I was surprised I still had it. My speech mostly droned on about lessons I've learned in the last 10 years. Basically, look to your elders, live life for yourself, find a passion, and find someone to love.

To top off the night, in the prize basket was a $1 bill I picked after winning speaker of the night. So after anteing up my money for my grammar infractions (25 cents a pop) I became 75 cents richer for showing up at Toastmaster's this evening. Well, if you minus the babysitter, I'm actually $19.25 in the hole. But who's counting?

The best compliment came at the end of the evening when Brian, an amazing speaker who was sitting next to me tonight, told me how much he enjoys my writing style. It meant a lot because he's a pretty accomplished writer/speaker himself. Funny story--a few weeks ago, I gave a speech about remembering names. Tonight, Brian, who is probably in his early 60's, sent me a note like we were in class, asking me the name of the lady across the way from us. I, of course, knew, so I wrote it down and sent it sailing back his way. Ah...brings back good memories from high school. You know, minus the guy older than my father sending me notes.

My dad, who has never commented on any of my speeches before tonight, made an awkward attempt at critiquing this particular one in the parking lot. He made some good points, even if the delivery was a little off. A "good job" would be nice though.

I've been toying around with the idea of perhaps entering the fall speech contest in the humorous category. I guess the worst thing that could happen is that I don't make it past the club level. For the speech contest, three judges determine who should win for the club level. Then you go to the district level and then to a big regional conference. I'm not sure where you go from there. One can hope somewhere neat, but most likely Kansas. But, that's not until November, so I still have time to think about it. I think I could pull some pretty funny things out of my sleeves. What do you think?

Caught!

Josh has recently taken a liking to the mailbox. He thinks it's a magic box that transports letters to people he loves. So yesterday, he wrote a lot of "letters", Folded them up like they were in envelopes, "addressed" them to people, and put them all outside in the mailbox to be sent out.

I didn't know that he was actually putting them in the mailbox when he mentioned that he was mailing things off. I just thought he was putting them in a pretend mailbox or something. I probably wasn't paying much attention to what he was saying in the first place.

(Mommy, I'm making pipe bombs.)
(Okay dear. Have fun.)

This morning, as I was waiting for my running buddy to show up, I noticed that the mailbox flag was up, but I didn't think much about it. My running buddy opened the mailbox to put her keys in and remarked that there was sure a lot of mail going out. I peeked inside and Josh had indeed put in all his "letters".

After our (awesome) run, I took the "letters" out of the mailbox and put them on top of the fridge. You know, federal law and such being as it is.

Later on, Josh and I are outside and Josh comes over to asks if the mailman has come yet.

"Nope." I said, and then quickly remembered that I had taken the "letters" inside. Shoot.

"Are the letters in there?" he innocently asked.

"No. Someone came and took them early this morning." I responded, mentally patting myself on the back for my quick thinking.

"No they didn't mommy. Mommy took them and put them on top of the fridge." Josh said as he turned on his heel, walked inside, climbed on to the counters and got the "letters" off the top of the fridge and brought them back outside.

Busted. Yes, my four year old did set me up to lie and then busted me on it. Smart kid.