#12 Join Toastmasters

So here's the thing: My father has been a member of Toastmasters--a public speaking club--for years. He's endured a lot of ribbing from us, as his family, over the course of his tenure in this club. I've been wanting to give it a try. Not because I have a really huge desire to learn to speak in front of large crowds, but more because I want to spend some quality time with my dad doing something that he enjoys.


I've been tossing this idea around in my head for a few years, but the timing never seemed right. With school, it seemed like just another night away. Then there was the marathon training and then being pregnant. I just figured that I would wait a few more years until the kids got older. I never really voiced my desire to join dad's Toastmaster group until I seriously started considering it about a month ago. At the time, I thought that logistically, it would be improbable with Wade being away on Thursday nights. But then I got to thinking. Wade is gone every night. And I'm feeling lethargic and unproductive and definitely need something to stimulate my brain.

Wade would argue that there are a lot of other things out there, besides Toastmasters, to stimulate brain activity. He's probably right. But, this is my dad's pet project. This and French lessons. And Toastmasters seemed the easier of the two options. Besides it's fairly cheap and I don't know a single soul in there except for my dad.

Lately, I have felt a pressing need to start up soon. And so on Saturday night, I informed my dad that I was going to start coming to their weekly meetings. At first, he didn't appear to be that excited I was coming and I thought maybe I was making a big mistake. My mom informed me the next day, by telephone, that he was indeed elated that I was coming to my first meeting that week. Perhaps I just knocked him off guard.

So what's a typical meeting like? Very formal, yet informal at the same time. Agendas are printed up and everyone has a role they play. Sargent-At-Arms. Ah Master. Grammarian Master. Table Topics Master. And the main dude that oversees the entire meeting is called the Toastmaster. But there's a lot of joking going on and it's all very casual.

Three people prepare speeches and then deliver them during the meeting. Another person is picked as an evaluator and offers immediate feedback for those presenting. At this particular meeting, we only had two speeches scheduled. The first one was on the joys of gardening. I was a little apprehensive because I have little interest in gardening, but the speaker was very engaging. The second speech was on recruiting new members for the club, and though not as entertaining, it was still very well put together.

My father, who was acting as the Toastmaster for the evening, stood up after the gardening speech and relayed a story about how he once had an interest in gardening. He went to his father-in-law (obviously, my grandpa, for those a little slow on the uptake) and asked for some help cultivating his interest. My grandpa was more than happy to share his hobby with his new son-in-law, but it became quite apparent that the arrangement was not going to work. For starters, my grandpa was retired and so he wanted to do all his gardening in the morning, when my father was at work. Grandpa was not willing to wait around for my father to get off work, and so the two never did collaborate on gardening. The story made me smile because that was totally my grandpa--who's been gone for 15 years now and of whom I have very few memories. Also, it was something personal that my dad shared and he doesn't share a lot of personal things with us during family gatherings. I was looking at my father in a different light.
After the prepared speeches, there's a round called Table Topics. The Table Topics Master--my father for this meeting--puts together a persentation of sorts by asking each person for a one to two minute speech on a particular topic. This teaches you the ability to think on your feet. I was given the choice of not speaking, but figured I might as well jump in feet first. It was a little nerve wracking, but I survived.

Following Table Topics, the evaluator stands up to give their feedback on the speeches given. It was interesting to hear the comments and the constructive criticism, all delivered without any fear of being shot down for being a horrible public speaker. No one threw stones or insults. It was all done with the speaker's betterment in mind.

After the evaluator spoke, a strange little man stood up and introduced himself as the Ah Master. I'm ashamed to admit that it took me until this point in the meeting to realize what an Ah Master was. He turned to me and said: "Sandra. You said 4 Ah's and 3 Um's during your speech." Seriously? You counted my Ahs and Ums? He then preceded to tell everyone else their Ahs and Ums count as well as point out any grammatical errors they made during their speeches. I was a little dumbfounded, but having thought it through, I realize this is an important part of public speaking.

We all then voted on which table topic speech we enjoyed the most. To qualify for the win, you had to use the word of the day--acrimonious--in your speech. I was so nervous that I had forgotten all about that, so my speech didn't qualify though I'm sure it wouldn't have won with all those Ums and Ahs in it.

The club did some housekeeping and then the meeting adjourned. I stayed after for a bit to talk to the grammarian, because he's such an interesting fellow. Apparently, English isn't even his native tongue. He immigrated to the states when he was a child from Panama. You would never have guessed. He has no trace of an accent at all. And he has such a commanding grasp of the English language. Best of all, he's a cab driver. Awesome.

I called my mom from the car to give her my overall impression of the meeting. She commented after my five minute description of the event that this was the most she'd ever heard about Toastmasters in the 20+ years my father has been a member. Of course, she never thought to ask him about the meetings and he never volunteered information, probably because he figured we weren't interested.

So the verdict: I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed the meeting. It was nice to get out and meet people I wouldn't otherwise associate with. No one has to know that I was so shy as a child that I peed my pants during the class picture during Kindergarten because I was too scared to ask to use the bathroom. Unless I somehow put it in a speech.

I realize the importance of being able to think on your feet and to speak in front of loud crowds. It's a skill that will make you more marketable in a lot of areas. For example, if I were to become a novelist, I would be expected to do readings and answer questions. I wouldn't want to stand up there and Ah and Um my way through every presentation. That would not lend credibilty to anything I'd written.

If nothing else, this experience will not only strengthen my relationship with my dad, but also give me good fodder for my blog.