The Real Story

So here it is.  The real story on how I managed to narrowly escape being hailed as peopleofwalmart.com's most tragic victim.

Before I start, I want the record to show that if I had ANYTHING, anything else at all, I'd probably opt to share that instead.  But, since I changed my blog name and description to something along the lines of "you can't make this stuff up" here I go:

I suffer from migraines.  I get them about two or three times a month. It sucks. But along with the migraines comes feelings of nausea and stomach upset.  I'm a pretty good candidate for a fun time when taken places when I have a migraine.

Some migraine sufferers are given the luxury of a few hours "notice" when a migraine is about to bestow itself upon them.  I am given about five minutes.  I will need to be facedown in bed in five minutes or all hell will break loose.

And yesterday, at Walmart, I was given my generous allotment of five minutes.  Now, I'm roughly 10 minutes from home at this point, but more importantly, I have both kids with me and we are there to pick up a birthday present for a little buddy of Josh's.

Josh, as has been already established, is a pretty analytical kid.  There's no just running into the store and picking something off the shelf.  Everything has to be analyzed and poured over as though we were going to give it to the President of the United States.  By the time we hit the toy aisle, my basket had stuff in it and I had spent my five minutes.  So the blinding headache was rearing it's head, I was nauseous and my stomach hurt. 

So, I convinced Josh that the first toy I picked up would be great for his buddy "LET'S GO!"  But no.  We can't go.  We have to look at ALL the Lego sets.  ALL of them.  One by one.  I start to walk away and Josh lays down on the floor and wails as though I've just taken his best friend and drop kicked him to the curb.  (ew...idea).

I briefly considered fleeing the store, but then I knew I would just have to come back.  I also thought about leaving Josh and taking Aunika with me to the bathroom, but (a) what do I do with Aunika since my basket had stuff in it and you aren't suppose to bring the basket into the bathroom.  Images of her crawling along the bathroom floor at Wal-mart makes me sick to my stomach even now. And (b) Josh would immediately notice my departure and start crying, which would alert the store employees and then I'd be paged over the intercom and the police would be called all while I was in various stages of unloading my lunch in the bathroom.

Now, in normal circumstances, I wouldn't have done what I was about to do.  But these weren't normal circumstances.  One of the systems in my body was going to explode and it was just a matter of time before they all followed in suit.  So, I grabbed a lego toy that Josh has been ogling since he started his fascination with legos and, much to the dismay of another mom in the toy aisle, told him "if I buy this for you right now, can we please leave?"  He was so awe-struck by getting a new toy that he didn't say a word.  Just followed me to the cash register.

I'm positive that this toy (and quite possibly some divine intervention) is the whole reason we haven't had to pack up and leave our community under the cover of night to avoid being recognized as the person who singlehandedly shut down Wal-mart for haz-mat to come in and clean it out.

Weekend One Sentence Observations

I almost stepped on a skunk during my morning run on Friday, but thanks to my fellow running buddy, I avoided a very traumatic (for the skunk) and smelly (for me and my buddy) experience.

After almost spoiling our run, we talked about what we would've done had I stepped on the skunk and it sprayed us, which took up the majority of the run and it flew by.

Staying with the running theme, I ran a 5k--by my lonesome self--on Saturday and PRed with a 27:33, which is 38 seconds faster than my terminal bladder velocity run in July, and I didn't even have the benefit of going downhill to help pad my time.

I didn't pee my pants this time either.

We've started caulking the basement, which is the last step before we start really painting.

Next house will have a finished basement.

And yard.

Josh did pretty good at his soccer game on Saturday, but I'm coming to terms with the observation that maybe my kid isn't so much a team sports kinda kid.

After being Wii-less for the last week due to the debacle he was at church last Sunday, Josh was gold for us today and is now happily playing his Star Wars Lego game--with dad.

The neighbor--who's six year old had to be escorted out of Primary by the primary president for taking off his belt and whipping an unsuspecting child in the face with it--told us that he likes to avoid such "harsh" punishments like taking away the Wii for a week.

We laughed.

After being snubbed by the "other kingdom" for their "tea party" I have been welcomed back with open arms.

Part of me wants to go back, because I really liked their tea parties, but then we started up one in "our kingdom" and I really should give that one a chance.  Maybe I'll do both and then choose.

Still, I knew they couldn't live without me.

It feels good to be so loved.

Nap time is my most favorite time of every Sunday.

Book Review Friday 9/25/09

It was a toss up this week...should I review the creepy one or the silly one?  And the verdict is:

Book: In This Way, I Was Saved
Author: Brian DeLeeuw
Pages: 320 pages

This book was creeptasic.  Told from the viewpoint of an unlikely narrator, the book follows a family through it's madness.  The overall feel of the book was dark so I wouldn't necessarily suggest it to most people I know, but it was an interesting read nonetheless.

Six year old Luke befriends Daniel at a playground outside the Metropolitan Museum.  What ensues is a friendship that borders--no, definitely crosses the line--of bizarre and strange.

As Luke matures into adolescence and adulthood, Daniel takes on a less dominant role in his life, but is always in the wings waiting for the right moment to reinsert himself as Luke's somewhat controller.  The moment comes when Luke is in high school, and Daniel takes center stage again.

In a classic story of good vs. evil, this book takes a hard look at what the assumed outcome is going to be and twists it.  Maybe good doesn't always win, but then again, maybe it does.

I didn't think I would like this book as much as I did, but I was thoroughly engrossed from the first chapter.  Word of caution: The language is a little strong and so are some of the situations.  But it does fit the book, if that makes sense.  Sometimes, authors put in language and situations because they think they can and it detracts from the overall feel of the book.  However, in some plots, these elements are warranted.

Definitely, a good book for a first novel.

Time Out for Bragging

So, I've been running for a while now.  Consistently, after having Aunika, since May of this year.  And I'll be the first one to admit I'm not fast.  I don't come anywhere close to what my husband and his brother can run--when they haven't even trained for anything.  And I've learned to let it slide.  I'm only me and I can only do the best that I can do. 

I'm not a natural runner either.  People assume that when you have long legs, you must be fast, but that's not always the case.  I'm built to be a soccer player, not a long distance runner.  I have a lot of bulk in my legs and it's taken many years to accept that I won't have skinny legs.  But, they're muscly and I have learned to love the muscle tone more than the actual shape.

But this last little while, I've been concentrating on getting my speed down.  I had been content at a 10 minute mile for shorter runs when I was training for the marathon, but I'm not going to achieve my goals at a 10 minute pace, so I researched some ways to get my time down and started implementing them.

Blah, blah, blah.  Since most of you aren't runners, I won't go into the details.  I'll just get to the bragging.

This morning--5:15 am, ahem--we (my training buddies + a new buddy) started off on a five mile "tempo" run, which is a run that we try to do the fastest we can, aiming for a specific time goal.  For the month of September, I chose (somewhat arbitrarily, but don't tell them that) a 9:30/mile goal.  (Not fast, I know.  But faster than what I was use to). 

We looped around Stansbury Park, noting that (a) it was very dark (b) the stars were still out so it felt like it was the middle of the ni...oh wait...it was and (c) people tend to like to drive with their brights on, shining them into your eyes and rendering you blind.

I got to be the rabbit--the person everyone is chasing down--for the first two miles.  Mainly, this is because I was the most alert of everyone.  Also, I have the watch that tells us how fast we're going so I like to lead the pack to get us on track.  In the past, I get us on target and then take up my rightful spot at the end of the line, chasing everyone down.  But, today, it felt good to be the one people were chasing, and I was able to keep it up for 2 miles.  Until I got so hot with my jacket on that I had to take it off and fiddle around with the reflective vest I wear when it's the middle of the night and I had to find someplace to drop the jacket off.  That's when I lost my spot.

But, we trudged--no, sprinted--along and ran the final mile--the 5th mile!--in under 9 minutes.  When we finished, I looked at our average pace--9:11! We just ran 5 miles, averaging 9:11/mile.  I've NEVER done that before.  Finally, I could see where all the hard work has paid off.

So, it's not fast.  It's not going to win me any awards--most likely, though those smaller 5ks have less of a pool to draw from, so maybe.  But it's faster than what I thought I was capable of just a few short months ago.

Man, I love exceeding my own expectations.

Thank you for allowing me to take a few moments to brag about something most of you don't care about.  Which is only slightly different than what most of my blog is anyways--random posts about stuff you probably don't care about.

But, it's my blog.  That's why.

Totally Random Tuesday

• Ever have those days (weeks, months...) where nothing seems to be getting done?  Yeah, that's today (this week, this month...).  I can't seem to muster up the energy to get much done past the normal stuff.  I keep thinking this whole getting up early thing is getting easier and then I have a day or two like the last two days, and I can't seem to kick the feeling of being completely wiped.  I need some purpose to work towards aside from keeping the kids and pets alive.  Preferably not something that is related--in any shape or form--to the basement.
• I have been trying to eat better the last little while.  More for how I feel while running then for any weight loss benefits, though those are nice icings for the cake--if it actually happened.  As it stands, I've lost something like 8 pounds (8.4 pounds, but who's counting, right?) in the last three months. But then, I succumb to a lunch at Taco Time and top it off with a Milky Way candy bar and I feel like crap.  Not because I ate at a fast food joint.  I don't really care about that.  It's that I feel like crap.  And so it's not worth it.  But yet, I still do it.  More often than I'd like.
• We have to bribe Josh--4 years old--to go to church.  And even that technique is pretty hit and miss.  Today, I went in search of new church clothes for him, but he was onto me.  He practically took a fit in the store and screamed more than once "I don't wanna go to church."  Meanwhile, I also had to pick up new clothes for him since he's grown out of everything else.  We came home with two Alvin and the Chipmunks t-shirts (because every kid needs two of them, right) and two dinosaur t-shirts.  He's easy to dress if nothing else.  No, no he's not.  He still has to wear his school clothes to bed on Sunday and Tuesday nights.  Otherwise, he'd be attending preschool in his skivies.
• I thought I'd welcome the cooler weather, but I haven't so much.  It's cold to start with, and then it heats up, and then it gets cold again.  And I'm constantly taking off jackets and putting them back on.  The last two mornings I've come home from my run and climbed back into bed (perhaps, why nothing seems to be getting done) and I can't get warm.  I sit under the shower for 20 minutes and then I'm cold again.  I don't know what to wear.  
• Speaking of jackets, I got the deal of the century on a "jacket" at Sears today.  "Jacket" because it's short sleeve and so it kind of defeats the purpose of being a jacket--an article of clothing you wear to keep warm.  But it's dang cute and it was $60.  I got it for $5.  Nevermind that I have nothing to wear with it.  Details, details.

Unhumorously Humorous

So, Thursday was our Humorous Speech contest at Toastmasters.  And for a girl that was SO shy that she peed her pants during class picture time in Kindergarten instead of telling the teacher she needed to use the restroom, it's amazing I was standing up there.  In front of all those people. Trying to make them laugh.

I came in 2nd.  Just so you don't feel like you have to scroll down to the bottom and miss all this wonderful stuff I'm spewing out up here.  And yes, there were more than 2 speakers.  There were four.  Thank you.

When I sat down to write the speech, I had a few ideas in my head.  But, I couldn't get them to come out right.  It was a little nerve wracking to WANT people to laugh at you.  I've spent so long NOT wanting them to laugh at me, and now I did.  How was I to achieve that?

But I finally settled on a topic Sunday and went with it, more because I was running out of time than anything else. 

Drum roll please....

College Football and my inlaws.  (and by in-laws, I mean the ENTIRE extended family.  Not just, you know, the "in-laws".)

I think I painted a 100% mostly fairly nearly accruate portrayal of my in-laws and their devotion to the game of BYU college football. 

And if the outcome of yesterday's game would've been different, I might have put most some of that "accurate" speech here.  But I value my life, so suffice it to say I kept it clean, I made them laugh, and I put a few jabs about myself in there.  And I didn't say anything that I wouldn't have said in front of them.

On a good week, when BYU didn't just get their pants handed to them on their own turf.

I will share this story though:

Wade and I met shortly before I was to return to school for my second year at CEU in Price, Utah.  It was a sad, foresaken place that no longer had a football team and I didn't grow up watching the game either, so I didn't know. 

I DIDN'T KNOW!

All that next year, we got together for the weekends, either here in Salt Lake or there in Price.  And not a single weekend was spent watching football.  Wade didn't even so much as turn on the radio in my presence. 

We married the following June and I settled into my new life blissfully unaware.  That is until one day in late August when I suggested we go camping that weekend.

"We can't go camping." Wade looked at me like I was nuts.  "It's the first football game of the season."

"What about next week?" I asked.

"There's another game then too."

So, there you have it.  He tricked me into marrying him. 

But the winner of the contest was a much better speaker.  He's been doing this for a few years now and he had some great stories.  I don't know that they were any better than mine (because, really, how can you compete with BYU football and my in-laws) but his candor was a lot smoother.  He definitely deserved to win, so I can't be sad (though I am--a little--because I'm intensely competitive).  But now I know what to work on for the next contest.

All in all, it was a lot of fun and a great experience.  And, like I mentioned, I was insanely shy up until I was like 15, so it's a miracle upon miracles I was even there.  But I've gotten a lot of encouragement over the last few months from family and friends and family of friends who comment on how "funny" I am, so that makes me feel good. :)  Thanks everyone!

Book Review Friday 09/18/09

Book: Picture Bride
Author: Yoshiko Uchida
Pages: 216

In any history--personal, family, or national--there is a lot to be proud of, but there is some to be ashamed of.  It's what makes it a history.  This period in American History is certainly not a proud one, and, sadly, is one that is often overshadowed by other atrocities that occured during the same time period.

Picture Bride is the story of Taro and Hana Takeda.  Hana arrived from Japan to Oakland, California in 1917 as a bright-eyed 20 year old sent to marry Taro.  She only knew him from a picture that had circulated around her hometown and was dismayed to find that he didn't resemble that any longer.

As she shuffled into her new life, Hana came to the realization that life with Taro, and America, was not all that she had pictured it would be.  Life was not as ideal as it had been painted in Japan, but bound by a duty to her new husband and to the family she left behind in Japan, Hana bears the pain of being an outsider in a country that shunned those who were different.

The story weaves itself through nearly 30 years of history, eventually leading to the Japanese-American internment camps of World War II after the attacks on Pearl Harbor.

As the story unfolds in the camps,  I found myself ashamed that this was what the American people did to an entire group of people, based on their nationality.  As though we weren't fighting a group of fascists in Germany with somewhat the same mentality at the same time.  While I "knew" of the Japanese-American internment camps, it is not a unit that is often dwelled on in American history classes.

I found this to be a very well written look at the history of the early Japanese immigrants to this country.  I thought the characters were well developed and intriguing.  I was surprised that the Depression Era was skimmed over seeing as Taro was a shopkeeper and must have felt that particular strain.  But I did find the parts about the internment camps very enlightening and informative.

Definitely a good read for anyone interested in this particular era.