Mom and Dad: 1/2 Josh: 0 Ducks: -1

We had a contest of wills last night at the dinner table. I'm happy to report that while Mom and Dad cannot claim complete victory, Josh did not walk away with any points.

The initial problem is this: I was tired of feeding Josh from baby jars. The food was expensive and it was about time he learned how to eat real food like the rest of us. I can't remember when exactly this was, but then I wasn't very consistent with making him eat a portion of the main course and so he spent a year just picking off his plate what he wanted to eat. Basically, this consisted of the bread product and the least healthy option being offered. In esssence, my kid was being sustained by potato chips, bread, and the occassional spoonful of applesauce.

I realize this is a problem in a lot of areas. Most notably, the vitamin deficiency arena. And every parenting magazine has these cute little articles showing you how to get your picky eater to eat. The reality is that I don't have the time to cut my sandwiches and vegetables into cute little shapes. Nor do I have the ability. Or the desire. I just want my child to eat something from his plate that's preservative free and natural in color. (i.e. Mac and cheese is not a natural product because nothing in nature comes in that color. Ditto for blue kool-aid. Chicken nuggets may not be all meat.). In the course of the last year, I have gotten him to branch out to diced ham (like they serve at salad bars), taco meat, croutons, eggs, pizza, cheese, and pbj sandwiches--sometimes.

I set down some ground rules from day one though. I don't make a separate dinner for him. If he's not going to eat what we're having then he can go to bed hungry. However, I found that he wasn't eating dinner, but snacking with us while we watched tv. So, a win-win situation for him. We tried to limit our snacking to after he went to bed, but then we have the whole bedtime saga I've mentioned in previous posts. This results in us having to sneak food to the tv or the bedroom because he's still awake.

Alas, here we are. He's 3 1/2 and not eating. I've tried asking nicely, but Mrs. Nice Guy is done. So last night, Baby Elephant--Josh's beloved stuffed elephant that goes everywhere in the house with him--went up on top of the kitchen cupboard.

And his yellow blankie went on top of the fish tank. All he had to do was eat a piece of sweet and sour chicken. Not a big piece: Just a mere taste of the chicken. He wouldn't even taste it if he popped it into his mouth and swallowed.

But nooooooo. Do you think he could do that? We spent the entire dinnertime cajoling him to eat the chicken. He ate the rice. He drank the kool-aid. But no act of war was going to get him to eat that tiny piece of chicken. Even after I scraped off all the offending sweet and sour sauce.

We even tried to bribe him into eating it, telling him only those who ate their chicken were going to be able to go to the duck pond to feed the ducks. Then, after Wade and I were through with dinner, we took Baby Elephant and the yellow blankie with us as we pretended to go to the park. We locked the front door and started down the sidewalk. Josh figured out how to open the garage, and so what the neighbors saw were two grown adults--one 7 months pregnant--carrying a stuffed elephant and a yellow blankie hightailing it to hiding spots. And then a screaming three year old. We emerged feeling slightly humiliated and spent.

Needless to say, our threats feel on idle ears. And so the next best thing--bedtime. If he wasn't going to eat his chicken, he was going to bed. So I removed all toys from his room, stripped him down to pajamas and left him in there--at 7:30. By 8:00 he was asleep. Hungry, but asleep.

So 1/2 points go to us as parents because we didn't back down, he went to bed at a reasonable time, but he didn't eat his chicken. 0 points for Josh because he ended up in bed with no dinner and no Baby Elephant or yellow blankie. -1 points for the ducks because they didn't get to eat dinner at all because one little boy wouldn't eat his measly piece of chicken.

Tonight on the menu--stroganoff. This should be another fun night.

Half-Framed

Yesterday, my twin brother came down and helped us (read: Wade) start framing the basement. They were able to get most of the half with the bedrooms framed. There's a lot more to do on that side then on the other side with the family room, so it's an accomplishment to say the least.


We woke up this morning, after deliberating last night about what to do about the shortened door heights, and decided that since we're not munchkin size, we will probably spend the remaining time in our home hating ourselves for lowering all the door heights to go around the duct work. This means that some doorways are going to have to be moved to accomodate this new realization. Which means a lot of extra work. No one likes that, but I'd rather we did it now then spend x amount of years wishing we would've just done it.


Here are some pictures of our progress thus far:

Our first framed wall. YAY!

My brother and Wade hard at work. Too bad you can't see their faces. :) That would be the result of my awesome photography skills. Good thing I have this useful almost-degree in mathematics in case we need to rely on my marketable skills to put food on the table and I won't have to resort to taking pictures for a living. We would definitely starve if that were the case. Now, we'd just be wanting something besides bread and water but at least we'd still be alive.

The finished product--somewhat. It's hard to get a picture of the whole half of the basement and then for whatever reason, the camera is tilted (no, our house does not lean downhill). So this picture doesn't do the rooms justice, but it was the best one I could get.

Our next task is to move the bedroom doorways and then finishing the framing around the duct work. I keep telling people that I would like to have the basement done by the time baby comes, and I always hear a snort coming from Wade's side of the room. I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea it's not going to be done by then. But, on the bright side, at least I'll be able to help with some of the later parts--like painting and finishing work--if I'm not nine months pregnant.

A Snapshot of My Brain

The following thoughts fleetingly entered my brain today at some point:

• What is this guy talking about? (During lecture today, although, sadly, it could relate to a lot of things.)
• Why can't someone just tell me--in words I understand--who and what we're exactly bailing out and why?
• Does Josh have an off button?
• My mom left a message on the phone with the word "freakin" in it. Creepy.
• Would it be better to have an athletically gifted child or an academically gifted child? Clearly, the sensible answer would be academically gifted, but that itself poses problems. If I had to choose a gift, what would it be?
• How is it that I could drive home in my non-air conditioned car when it was 100+ degrees this summer and still feel like I'm cooking when it's only 82?
• I have spent six years lamenting the fact that we didn't put a garden tub in our bathroom. After spending an hour in one this afternoon at my mom's, I realize now that I'm not missing anything. Good thing we didn't move for that garden tub.
• Why is it that I'm going to have to pay for other people's stupid mistakes?
• We're framing the basement tomorrow. YAY!
• We'll finally have an office and an exercise room. Both with doors that close. Maybe they'll even lock. How nice will that be?
• I haven't been able to catch up on my shows on TiVo--and we don't even have cable--but yet, I've watched every Barney episode that has come on in the last six months.
• Why is it that an oreo cookie amasses to more chocolate than it originally started with once it's in the hands of a three year old?
• At which point does the word "mommy" not invoke shuddering and make me tense up because it means that I have to translate one more demand that is unreasonable/incoherent/tiring.
• How many more times can I pick up the same toys and put them back in the same bins before I go beserk and start chucking them at the cats?

Book Review Friday, 9/26/08

Book: The Last Lecture
Author: Randy Pausch
Pages: 210

I was orignally going to review a different book this week, but after reading this one this afternoon, I thought it was so touching that I'm going with this one.

When a professor leaves an institution or retires, he is often given the chance to present a "Last Lecture" where he instills, one last time, in peers and students anything he chooses. When 47 year old Randy Pausch. a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon University, is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given 3 to 6 months to live, he truly prepares for his "last lecture". He wanted to leave a legacy behind that would live on long after he did. And with his last lecture he did.

I originally saw Randy Pausch on Oprah, where his recorded last lecture was played for the segment. It had me in tears by the end. His optimism and his instruction on how to live a fulfilling life was inspiring.

I had originally thought that the book was just going to be a printed version of the lecture, but it turned out to be so much more. He really delves into the subject matter--How to Achieve Your Childhood Dreams--with antecdotes and bits of wisdom from his own life.

The most profound thing about Pausch is that he is an ordinary person who didn't do anything that extraordinary in his life. But, he led it as though he did. He was eternally optimistic, though admits that there were moments after his diagnosis that he was on a pity train. No one can fault someone in that kind of situation if they spend some time bemoaning themselves. What makes Pausch unique is that he was able to rise about his pity and focus on the things that really matter--his family.

Pausch worked endlessly in his final months to ensure that his wife and three young children (6,3,1) would remember him and be sure of his love for them--and it was this last lecture that he left as a legacy to his children. He wanted them to achieve their childhood dreams as he had in his shortened lifespan.

The last few chapters of the book were incredibly hard to get through and it was made worse by knowing that he passed away in July of this year. At the time the book was published, though his prognosis was dim, he was still receiving treatments and holding on to the small chance that something miraculous would happen. However, knowing the odds, he was also preparing for his death by leaving letters and mementos for his children so they would know him as they got older.

The lessons learned in this book are profound and serves as a reminder to us all that you truly choose to be happy, whatever your circumstances. The advice dished out was relevant and certainly time-honored and I left the book a better person because of it.

The world is a bit better--happier, calmer, smarter--for having had Randy Pausch in it for the short time he was.

Book Review Friday 9/19/08

Book: The Stay-At-Home Survival Guide
Author: Melissa Stanton
Pages: 385

I have a confession. There are times--minutes, hours, days--where I don't particularly love being a stay at home mom. GASP. I know. It's a meaty confession, but I feel so much better now that I've let it out. Inside, I know that I'm doing the right thing with this choice I've made, but there are times I wonder if I'm going insane or if I'll ever be able to exercise my brain again.

My mom picked this book up at the library for me, and I realized in the first 20 pages I should've read it about 3 1/2 years ago. All this time, I've felt guilty for these inner feelings that don't quite coincide with what I perceived around me. I felt like I was the only one who--while I enjoy going to the park and walking to Maverik with Josh--was so frickin' bored with the daily monotonity of motherhood. The other night, while reading the same book to Josh at bedtime that I've read a bazillion times, I had to physically keep myself from screaming. And it's not the first time I've had to restrain myself. All this time I thought it was just me, but it's not. And if nothing else, I'm glad that burden has been lifted.

While the book is geared more towards women who have left lucrative, career jobs, most anyone could find something useful in this read. It's nice to know that even CEO's, doctors, and lawyers are giving up their careers to stay at home with their kids. One thing I really liked about the book was that it was 95% women who were at home without any outside help like nannies. It made it a little easier to digest knowing that they were in the same boat as me.

While there was nothing earth shattering new in the book, it was nice to see that I'm on the right page. Make friends, have passions outside of child-rearing, make sure that you're taken care of should your husband die or become disabled. Education. And above all, know that it's okay not to like your "job" 24/7 nor do you have to feel inferior because you're "just a mom". Those validations alone made the book worth the read.

I wish I could buy a caseload of this book and hand them out at baby showers for first time moms. I really could've used the advice in here about 3 years ago.

One friend, who is nearing 65 and stayed home with three boys, put it best when she said "looking back on it, I'm glad I did it. I'm glad I stayed at home to raise my boys. But, when I was in the midst of it, I didn't like it all that much and I spent a lot of time at church feeling guilty for it. I would imagine more women felt that way then felt that this was the best times of their lives and we should've been more open about it."

The Side Benefits of Going to School

• What else would I do with those 2 1/2 hours that Josh is at preschool and there's no Barney, Diego, or Word World in the background. Silence is overrated anyhow. And I do enjoy taking a very cranky three year old to Walmart, so why deprive me of that joy?
• I'm showered at 8:30 am instead of 5:30 pm when Wade is about to walk through the door.
• It's easier to justify a midafternoon nap when you wake up at 8:30 instead of 11:00.
• The 10 minute walk from my car on South Temple to the math building is exercise I should be getting anyways. Bonus that it's uphill.
• I enjoy being ogled at like a freak show side exhibit. Haven't you ever seen a pregnant person before people? This is Utah!
• I clearly understand I was wrong when all this time I merely thought getting a math degree was a bad idea. Now it's become a certainty that getting a math degree was a bad idea.
• Baby is especially active during the class. I personally think it's a misguided attempt at getting the...very...slow...monotone....voice....to....quit....talking....but I can at least dream that she'll be a math whiz. Perhaps she'll turn to me one day, when she can finally grasp the ideas floating around in her head, and say: "I don't know what it is, but I really find probability interesting."
• The 10 minute walk back to my car is, again, exercise I should be getting anyways. It's nice it's downhill.
• There are many different ways of returning to my car. I like to try a different one every day and pretend I'm a paranoid spy that has hitmen after me so taking the same route would only clue them in on my normal routine. Also, I like to see if I can shave a couple minutes off every day. It's a throwback to my 5k racing days. Try to improve on my time every day.
• Since I don't have a working FM radio in my car, I get to listen to talk radio. Rush and Doug have become familiar companions on the long drive to and from campus.
• People watching is especially interesting in this arena. I've seen it all these last two weeks. Capes, leather jackets in 90 degree weather, girls teetering down the sidewalk in shoes obviously not intended for campus wear, a guy in class that wears a purple t-shirt with the arms cut off over a white t-shirt EVERY DAY--with varying colors of shorts. And these people are looking at me like I'm the freak?

Three Months and Counting

Today officially marks the three month countdown to when this baby is suppose to be born. Maybe a few days before or later, but for all intents and purposes, three months from today I'll finally be able to sleep on my stomach again.

So a few things I want to do in the next few months while I whiddle away time before baby is born:

• Teach Josh how to sleep with the light off. We've been lenient in allowing him to keep the light on when he goes to bed. If we turn his light off when we go to bed and he wakes up in the middle of the night, he freaks. Then I'm too tired to care, so I turn it back on. We had at one time taken the light bulb out, but that seemed mean and (more importantly) inconvenient, since the room was rendered useless after dark. So, what to do, what to do? I'm thinking of putting in a dimmer switch, but then he'll just learn to turn it back up. So I guess we have to do it the hard way. Turn it off and punish him if he turns it back on. It's heartbreaking to listen to your kid screaming because he's scared, and really what's a light, but I'm afraid he won't grow out of this phase. Besides it's contributing to item number 2...
• Teach Josh to go to bed at a reasonable time. There was a time (long, long ago) where Josh would go to bed at 8:30 pm and wake up at 8:30 am. Now, it's anyone's guess. Part of the problem is us. We're not consistent with his bedtime. Part of it was summer. It was still light outside and so we'd go take walks or play outside until 9:30. Part of it is that in finishing the basement, we had to move all his toys from the hall closet to his bedroom to make room for stuff from the basement so now there's a constant stream of interesting stuff to do when he should be sleeping. Of course, part of the problem is the light fear mentioned above. In the big scheme of things, does it matter? No. But last night it was well past midnight, and Wade and I were trying to sleep, but "baby elephant" was sad and the duckies were crying and there was a lot of noise coming out of one little kid's mouth and that's not going to be good when baby #2 joins the club. Besides, I need that time to myself or to spend with Wade. And Josh is getting more and more sleep deprived as the days go on.
• Fine tune on paper my triathlon training plan for the triathlon I'm planning on doing in April. I did have four other ladies all gung-ho to do it with me, but something tells me I may be the only one at the starting line. I'm determined to do it, but I need to do some more research and get it all down so when I get the go ahead to exercise I know where to start.
• Finish school. It's hard to get superly involved in your very last class-especially if it's been a year since you've taken one and the teacher...talks...like...this...about...exciting...subjects...like...probabilty. I need to buck down and just fly through so I'm not sitting on pins and needles for my required grade. There's no excuse. It's the only class I'm taking so I should have plenty of time to study for it, right? If only he taught it in English...on a side note, I had a hard time explaining to another guy in the class--who coincidently has three kids of his own--that my belly was not the wrench in the plan, but rather this class was. He thought I was brave for coming to school in my "condition". I've gotten use to the stares, but they haven't seen anything yet. It's only going to get bigger and better in the coming weeks.
• I have to have Christmas done by Thanksgiving--at the latest. This will be the hardest task to complete because I'm notorious for waiting until the last possible minute to do my shopping. Good thing there's this little thing called internet to aid me in my procrastination.

There seems to be enough on my list to keep me busy but that doesn't change the fact that I'm done being prego. This is a strange feeling because with Josh I was beyond freaked out at this point in the pregnancy. I was willing time to go slower until that last month when I would've pulled him out myself if I could've. I told my doctor this morning that pregnancies should speed up the more you have. She just laughed. But she's not the one six months pregnant.